Guys, what is a good way to end a relationship you don't want to end?

This is long. I have been dating this guy for 2 months long distance but have only gone out 5 times. From the beginning I have always had to initiate contact, he claims he is super shy. He always asks me for the next date but I have to follow through. He always waits till the last minute to finalize plans but I figure its because he thinks we already had the day set. He came with me to a friends party and called himself my boyfriend which shocked me since we only talk once a week.

Well one night I called and woke him up so he said he would call me the following night but never did. When I confronted him he says he forgot. Then he said he would call me for Xmas but apparently forgot then too. He said he usually forgets to call people for Xmas when we got into a fight. I was very hurt and sarcastically told him to call me on New Years, which I think he took literally. I have not heard from him since our fight on Xmas night. He is extremely busy as he is in the military and a lot of stuff is going on.

I really like this guy a lot. He had lots of potential. But I feel very hurt, confused, and unimportant to him. I have a strong feeling he won't contact me tonight either...I actually wanted to spend tonight with him but we never discussed it. I think I am reluctantly going to end things because of my hurt feelings. I'm just not sure if I should call him and discuss my feelings first to see if there is hope to resolve things? Or just not contact him at all and think its over? 2 guy friends said I need to wait for him to contact me first but I honestly don't think he will. To his fairness he does not know his lack of communication is really bothering me but I also don't want to chase something that does not care or want to be chased. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

Confused again. He did contact me last night but by text, no phone call.
Well I decided to take your advice. After he texted me I decided to brave it out and called him yesterday. For the first time he has blown me off and did not take my call. Being too upset I finally had to break down and email my feelings. No response.
I guess I got my answer. I will be moving on.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well just breaking up out of nowhere would be a communication failure in your behalf. a nail in the coffin.

    There is such a thing as a forgetfull disorganized guy. Assuming he really forgot on xmas, a self procclaimed boyfriend, will not "not call you" on new year's eve. If he doesn't call you today you'll know its not that "he's forgetful, but I am indeed important for him"... unles he then blames it on phone circuit jams.

    Anyway, see what happens tonight first. Then tell him that his lack of communication is really bothering you. See how he reacts. If he does something to fix it then there you go, you work it out from there. If after having told him and given the chance to do something, he doesnt... then you can cut it with a clean conscience.

    • I think this is good advice. I guess I'm just scared of being rejected by this guy right now which is why I haven't said anything. I know he's busy so I don't want to seem too needy.

      Im not sure I understood your comment that if he does not call then I know "he's forgetful but am important", is that a typo? Did you mean if he does call? Or if its not a typo what do you mean by that?

    • If he doesn't call you today you'll know its not that "he's forgetful, but I am indeed important for him"


      If he does call you today, you can think he is just a "forgetful busy guy" who just forgot calling in xmas. And if he is just forgetful, then that is the issue, not that you are not important to him.

      It could, however, turn out that he is not that forgetful, just doesn't care so much about you.

      You'll find our if he calls you tonight and/or you talk to him and he makes an effort.

    • well, at least now you know for sure.

      Now It's a lot better to just move on than to have stayed lingering.

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