WAS I BEING SELFISH?

I just broke up with my short term boyfriend because I've been having a lot going on in general. I've been struggling with depression for the last 3 months. It started off bad and it got better and now its back. I've known my boyfriend for a year and we talked for 4 months taking it slow knowing that we liked each other. we've dated for a month 1/2 and my depression got worse and i thought to myself how can I get better how can I help myself so I can be happy. Well I knew that I was always so worried if he was going to be okay if he was going to get hurt and things like that, lets just say he has a troubled past. So just yesterday I sat down and told him this "you did nothing wrong, this is on me. You know how I've been struggling with depression and all well, I think I need to take some time to myself and get better because i'm not emotionally stable to be in a relationship when i'm always up set and unhappy and not making healthy decision for myself." I asked him if he had understood what I said and he agreed with me. I had expected him to be sad about it because I was sad about the whole thing because I really like him and care about him. Then the next day i'm with my close friend and she shows me all the text messages between them. He apparently was crying and throwing up because he was over worked and he didn't sleep last night, he blamed him self for the whole thing calling himself useless and other things too. I was just trying to do right by me and help myself out and get better before we got into a long term relationship and i'm not happy at all. I honestly feel like crap for hurting him. Was I being selfish?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • In a way, yes, you were being selfish. You were trying to spare him, and not make your thing, his problem, but he's supposed to be someone you can feel comfortable venting to. One of the things about being in a relationship with someone who has depression is that I know sometimes my girlfriend is just going to shut down, but the thing that would kill me more than her shutting down, is her feeling like she couldn't tell me what she was going through.

    It isn't her fault, just like this isn't your fault. She can't help that she isn't ready to say more, but ending what we have because of her depression would be incredibly cruel.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Maybe a little bit. You werent together that long but if he had a crush on you the relationship could have meant a lot to him. Everyone copes differently. With my depression i run to my girlfriend for comfort but some prefer to be alone. Depending on the situation would depend on the answer.

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  • nope

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  • when aren't girls being selfish

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    • does this mean? you think i was?

    • Show All
    • just forget i ever asked you are impossible.

    • just sayin'

What Girls Said 1

  • I think what you did wasn't selfish at all because you didn't want to break up with him you have problems that you're trying to fix and you're trying to better yourself so you don't want to neglect him because your having bad depression.

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