How can I keep believing in love after been heartbroken so many times?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Heartbreak leaves a scar. Too many heartbreaks and you can be permanently injured and those wounds never heal.

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  • How long has it been since your last break up? My guess is it has not been more than a few months at max.

    What you're feeling is the natural defence mechanism of your brain. Your emotions have been hurt too many times. So your brain has built up walls around you which would prevent you from trusting people, falling in love or getting too close to anyone at all. I'm glad you have those walls up already. Most people bleed helplessly after such experiences because they still don't have those walls up.

    This is natural. And this is necessary.

    But this is not permanent.

    As human beings our natural tendency is to be drawn to other humans. The walls will protect you as long as it takes for your emotions to heal. Then they'll disintegrate on their own. There will come a time when you'll feel as healthy, as unburdened and as susceptible to falling in love as you felt before you met your first boyfriend.

    I don't know how long it will take for your walls to disappear. Healing period varies from person to person, and from situation to situation. But I do know that at some point of time they will. It can even take more than a year. But for your own sake, you have to wait till then. Whatever you do, do not force yourself into a rebound/arranged marriage or any such forced relationship now. Do not force yourself to be vulnerable again - your system has built those walls 'cause you're still not ready for the consequences.

    Here are some practical tips to help you out:

    How to Move on From Someone You Loved: 7 Rules
    Q&A: How to Get Over a Devastating Break-Up?
    Being Single: The 7 Principles of Enjoying Your Singlehood
    How I Coped with Being Dumped and Why That’s NOT Going To Help You

    All the best. :)

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What Guys Said 12

  • Human psychology is very malleable. That means you can not only get hurt but learn and accumulate relevant knowlwdge too. There probably is a way to see who is more compatible with you, and to make less mistakes.

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  • I hear you! It's hard to find, for all of us. But look around. I'm sure you know or have seen some couples that are. It can happen, so just remember that. And again, it's not easy for any of us to find it.

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  • I can not answer that with a honest reply but I can say that once you do find him you will say was I ever in love

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  • Does the heartbreak not mean that you were in love at one point all because it's gone now doesn't mean you won't fall into love again at some point just dont give up hope for once you loose that what else is their to life

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  • Heartbreaks suck. I get what you mean. For me, I just know in the future everything will work out and I’ll find the right person eventually and it’ll just work

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  • I've been asking myself the same question. Friends of mine always say that at least I'm a genuine guy who respects his girl.
    But somehow I always end up being cheated on.

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  • Don't worry you just haven't met the right person yet and your previous relationships have just been a precursor to the real thing.

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  • My first kiss was at 19yo, lost my virginity at 21yo. Never is to late to find someone. You should search better and pick better

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  • Keep trying, learn to take it slow before jumping so hard emotionally

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  • Try to Understand the NATURE of TRUE LOVE... it's SELF SACRIFICE and it is definitely HEARTBROKEN...

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What Girls Said 4

  • The people who hurt you are lessons to learn from, every experience is showing you what to look out for next time around. Be patient, because real love comes when you least expect it.

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  • You will find love if you are patient and discriminating and take your time with relationships. My friend weighs around 300 pounds and has a learning disability that has prevented her from graduating from a low tier college and she is dating a very tall and fit and good looking and confident and respectful and kind man who has a car and drives her hundreds of miles every single week to go on expensive dates. If you believe and wait and hope and treat others with kindness - your turn for happiness will come. Just have to be patient and rely on God too.

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  • What you still want to believe, just enjoy and move on

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  • 'I can say with great certainty and absolute honesty that I did not know what love was until I knew what love was not.'

    ~ P. T. Berkey

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