I was thinking of messaging her, telling her who I am and that he lied about how their relationship was - just see see if he abuses everyone he is with or other terrible shit he's done, because I'm honestly losing my mind and need to know the real truth. Would this be totally out of line? She seems totally normal (not terrible like he made her out to be), has a new serious boyfriend, etc etc - I don't want to disrupt her life but It would be interesting to see how he acted with other girls and hear the real truth of that situation. SHould I do it?
I'd approach her in a calm way and just tell her what I've been through and ask her if she went through something similar. Would this be too much?
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I would do it. I had. A woman contact me when she saw her husband had been looking at my profile and other women and had messaged other women. I'd never seen him. He had not contacted me. But I was happy to talk to her about it. I felt for her and gave her the best advice I could. As far as your relationship, I hope you get out. It's hard but you will go on to love again. I dated one 2 years and he's just a distant memory now. I'm happily married. He's in prison lol. He was abusive and finally got time for it.