How do I get him back?

I met this awesome man and we have been seeing each other for a few months. Everything was great

until about a week ago now. We have spent at least one night a week together and have spent every

weekend together. We have so much in common and have a great time together and he told me

that he cared deeply about me and then even said he loved me. He works construction and was

hurt on the job 4 1/2 weeks ago. He has been going through a lot with his injury and it has had

him down. Two weeks ago his ex girlfriend of 6 months started texting him. He would tell me it

was her and I tried not to let it bother me but it did and I let him know it. He told me that there

was nothing to worry about that they were just friends and that she knows about me and him

being together. I am currently unemployed so he being the wonderful man he is bought Christmas

for my children and gave me a wonderful gift as well. He was with us on Christmas but he and she

were texting and I told him that it bothered me and he told me that they are just friends and that

her kids were giving her a hard time because she couldn't afford to buy them Christmas and

they were making her feel bad and she was all alone because her kids were with their dad. I told

him I was sorry. I left it at that even though it was killing me. Then he left Monday morning leaving

me thinking everything was fine with us to go to his dr appt. I got a call several hours later with him

saying we needed to talk. I asked him to please not do this on the phone because I knew what was

coming. He said he wasn't happy and that is when I fell apart and I told him that if he hadn't been

texting with her then he wouldn't be where he is now. He asked me not to hate him and that I would

see him again that he just has to make sure that it is over with her. He also said that he didn't want

to loose me completely. He said he does care a lot about me and loves me. When we have talked on

the phone or texted I have tried to be strong but cannot because I am hurting so bad. I have begged him

not to do this and he just keeps telling me that he has to. Now it has been two days and he won't return

my texts or calls. I just don't get it. I want him back and don't know how to get her out of his head and get

him to come back to me. We have so very much in common and were making all kinds of plans for this

spring which we were both excited about and now he is gone. I am in so much pain that I cannot eat,

sleep is a joke. I just don't know what to do! HELP ME AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO PLEASE!


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What Guys Said 2

  • bare with me on this thought, whether its helpful or not; but when you say he has to make sure that it is over with her... could he also be experiencing what it is you have for him right now. I mean it is a relationship that he had at one point. For some people 6 months is short, or long for others, but either way, it could have been 6 months meaningful until the break-up (which none of us know how that happened as well). It is always bothersome to be in love with someone, just to watch them go into the arms of someone else... especially an ex. May be a dumb question, but when you say he needs to make sure its over with her... is that assuming they're trying to date again to see if it goes anywhere? I feel that he probably feels you are too jealous at the moment, and it is a possibility that he genuinely needs to finish this chapter of his life with her and make sure it comes to an end with no loose ends... which isn't easy for him if you blame everything on him and her texting. With that said, I'm not saying this is your fault either... it may very well be all his; perhaps not having moved on when he thought he did, but love (as we know it) is a tricky thing, even when we feel it should be simple at times.

    I can't tell you what to do, but I can merely advise (from my perspective) that you need to give him space and take care of his business. To either end his previous relationship for good at his leisure, or any other decision he may have. I'm not promising a happy ending in this, but a realistic outlook says that sometimes you just can't win. If that's the case you'll just need to be strong and try to move on. But for now, the key here will be "Time."

  • You need to take a step back and give him some space for at least a couple of weeks. It's good to clear your head a little to at this time. But you need to start putting the pieces together on why he really left.. and come up with a good plan. This girl will turn things around for you => link but try not to stress too much, he'll be contacting you within 2 weeks if you give him some space.


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