Is it time to let go? Helpppp!

i dated this guy for 3 1/2 years I did some horrible things in the relationship and left him a couple times, now that he's out of my life I realize how much this man means to me he's in school in Alabama which is 3 hours away and since we had problems things aren't the same between us but he says he loves me and thinks I'm the one but his actions are showing me different he's been gone for 9 months so far and has 15 more to go! :( he does come in about once a month so I still see him but there's no way to rebuild a relationship this way I love him more than anything and still am trying hard to make things right! but I feel like I'm almost pushing him away, I know he still loves me its just things are extremely different we never went days without talking and now we do, and even when he is in town we don't see each other very much he says its because he doesn't want to pretend like we're dating right now and blah blah blah... I don't know is 15 months too long to just hold off?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 15 months isn't too long... however, if you have done damage you need to give him time for those to heal. I broke my fiance's heart like that and 10 years later we are just now starting to talk again on a serious level. We never didn't talk- we still hooked up at least once every three months until I met my husband. He was the first person I spoke to after my husband passed and it took all of that for him to see that I was capable of being faithful. He finally saw, when he was the first person I reached out too, that he was "the one" and so was I.

    I am not saying that you need to get married or wait as long as I did, but I believe that if you allow time for those wounds to heal you all will be able to have a real relationship. I don't know how long ago you hurt him but staying around is just a constant reminder of how bad he was hurt by you.

    I hope things work out better for you than they did for me, I was your age when I hurt him. If you are thinking that you need to leave him alone, like this post implies then you already know you should and this is just reinforcement. If you chose to stick it out or if you chose to walk the friend line; good luck, Doll!

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    • thank you!, it helps to know I'm not alone in this :) and I'm going to take your advice

    • I'll agree with Amelia. The wounds will need time to heal.

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  • I'd try to hold off if I were you and in the meantime find something new and exciting to try, maybe a new hobby. Give him some space and if he loves you and misses you too, he will come back around :)

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  • I'd say hold off I think you should spend sometime with your self doing things that you like and giving him that space as well he's obviously trying to deal with the break up...If its meant to be it'll be let him know that you're there for him though.

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