Passive aggressive ex who won't go away

a friend of mind got out of a relationship with her ex. about a year ago, (before she met me..we are close so she told me everything about her past relationships..)they dated for about 8 months but never had even a day's worth of face time!(they mostly texted, email'd, or phoned each other but had to sneak around to see each other(her parents didn't know about him)

the thing is, during the relationship he said he loved her and she thought she was in love with him (until she met me). she broke up with him because she got tired of him being so controlling an passive aggressive.(he likes to put her through guilt trips for breaking up with him the way she did)

well call him: "whats-his face"

now I'm also her ex. (her most recent) and were also best friends, we spend all day together and all night talking sometimes, we've even talked about getting back together. but ol' whats-his-face seems to be obsessed with my friend.

she left him,( not in the best of ways) & he threatened to cut/ kill himself, or go to the army if she left him... she blocked him on fb and lost his number & they just recently got back into contact with each other

they had a very distant relationship compared to mine, almost like they were pen pals. my relationship with her was 10x deeper and personal.(her words) she says she used to think she loved him but knows what we have is love and what they had wasn't...

she has told him she doesn't love him and is still in love with me(so yea whats-his-face knows about me an her)she told him about her falling in love with me faster than him, and our relationship being on another level, he doesn't know me personally but doesn't like me(w/e..) and tells her that she should stop talking to me because I hurt her which I think is really passive aggressive( I really didn't hurt her like that, I never cheated or lied, she has unique issues and I wasn't very sensitive to them at one point)

my problem is this: its been over a year since they had their "pen pal relationship" and my friend has moved on, so whys he still hooked on her?

ill admit in all fairness that I don't like whats-his-face either but I seriously am looking out for my friends safety, they barely know each other besides what they wrote or chose to tell each other so whys he acting like they were engaged or something?

hes always asking her to sneak out the house and I don't think she should see him(@ least not alone because she broke up with him kinda dirty and he still seems mad about it...

she also told him she was celibate when they "dated" but she had sex with me( something she also told him) which I think is more reason for him to be upset and for her not to be alone with him

my friend's really sweet and she feels bad about how she left him, still wants to be friends with whats-his-face but nothing more, whats-his-face is still in "love" and is trying to get her to be fake towards me and throwing any dirt he can make into a pile on my name. what advice can I give her?


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  • Tell her to tell him to f*ck off...

    In a polite way, if possible.. As in: "Hi! I don't think we should be in contact anymore for the following reasons: a) ... b) ... c) ... etc"

    Tell her this entire story and what you think of it (all the reasons why you are concerned about them meeting, etc.)

    Or better yet, ask her about it. 'What do YOU think about this.. Do you REALLY think it's a good idea to keep in contact with him?'

    • thanks, I've askd an she says she regrets it but I guess she'll handle it; not much I can do...

  • What advice can you give her?


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