How long to wait when taking a break?

How long should you usually wait until making contact with that person (of course depending on the circumstances of the break) and if you were on one how long did you wait to contact that person for lunch or just to wish them well or something?

Updates:
the break was mutual, she called me up and said it first but I knew that I was going to say the same thing when we talked. We both wanted it and if one didn't say it the other would have.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't believe in trying to have contact with an ex unless you have children together. I am not saying to avoid them. I believe in being cordial to an ex (unless they are impossible to talk to) but I won't try to contact them. I did attempt something along these lines with an ex a few years ago, against my better judgment, and, sure enough, it was a bad idea. The reality is that if you don't have enough to make it as BF/GF what is left is not much. Calling to hang out is just awkward and calling to wish them well or Happy Birthday or anything like that is awkward too. If you had a mutual break, then hopefully you both let each other know your well wishes at that time.

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    • what if youve been together for 4 years and know both of you are still in love? You think then I should never contact her again?

    • That is a whole other ball of wax. Why did you both agree to break-up if you both are still in love? Either you are in love and will move heaven and earth to make this work or you break-up when you see that there is no way it can work out. So, if you want to contact her to get back together, that is a different question and would require more information on your expectations and what you need to overcome.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Personally, I have never truly taken a "break" during a relationship from someone, but my ex had attempted to take a break- but we ended up staying together and eventually breaking up.

    To me, a break is a breakup, however, it is on a safety. With safety, I mean that it is a breakup, per say, but it allows you to keep your options open with that person. Perhaps you both needed your time away and a break from that person to see what other options there is for yourself without ultimately losing that person.

    With that being said, I think you need to take a hard look at the relationship and see whether or not pursuing further contact with that person is worth it. If you don't see them in your future, then allow her time to heal from the break up so that when you do reenter, she is ready to accept you as a friend, and only a friend. Since you broke up mutually, then there must be reasons for you wanting to break up as well as her. Did this person mean enough to you that if, you do continue contact, that you would be willing to go further and maintain a relationship with this person? If so, choose your timing wisely. If you truly like this person, you must understand that she needs her space as much as you did. Look at what may have gotten you to your "break" and base your timing on that as well. Was it personal issues, school, family, or simply your just tired of each other? If it was for personal reasons, let her figure those issues out and give her time and space and allow her to come to you when ready. Remain there for her through her tough times as a neutral friend and let her know your door is ready when she is ready. If it was simply a break, then maybe wait a month or so and attempt to contact her for a simple coffee or drink. A month should be enough time to gather your feelings and emotions for each other and ample time to learn to "miss each other" once again.

    If you truly find that your time away from this person has helped you regain feelings and wanting for a relationship, then by all means go for it. Begin by talking to her mutually, such as to see how she is doing, how is life, and be open and honest with her and share with her your feelings and where you are in your life now and how you want her to be apart of your life again. But be careful you continue to give her the needed space so you don't scare her off and start back where you started.

    I wish you the best of luck!

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  • Depends... if you were the one who asked for the break then whenever you're ready. But if you were the one being asked for a break, then you have to wait until the other person contacts you. They wanted a break because they need space, so give them that and they will come back to you when the time is right for them.

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  • I have been on breaks before and usually hated being on them.. If you are the one who initiated the break, then wait just a while not too long. She will be glad you contacted her.

    If she initiated the break...wait... maybe she will contact you first if not.. Wish her well after about a week..its simple conversation and nothing pushy your not even asking a question which means she doesn't have to respond, (But she likely will) She won't feel pressured or as if your being needy either.

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  • Wait until this person tells you it is time to make contact.

    Or you can wait until this person tlks to you.

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  • I think 2 weeks is long enough. The whole point of a break is to figure out whatever or not you want to be with that person. It's not so you can date other people. It's not about other people, it's just about you. So 2 weeks should give you enough time to think

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What Guys Said 3

  • I think the best circumstances is to finish the break asap and work it out together. the longer you guys take, the further you grow apart, and can possibly lead to the ideas of dating others and such, (assuming you don't want that). I'd say tell her that you will respect her desire to get back together when she wants and to respect her wanting a break, and that you're ready when she is, that you want to work things out and such. Let love conquer and not hostility for w/e reason it was y'all chose to not see each other. A break will often tend to end permanently if not dealt with cautiously and tenderly.

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  • Depends on who initiated the break. If it was you just pick the time that you consider to be best for it. If it were her (or "both" of you), consider her gone. If she comes back she should do it by herself. If she doesn't don't contact her at all (maybe birthdays etc. but very formal and brief).

    Be polite. Answer when she calls etc., even tell her if you like her or find her interesting and the situation calls for it (do not blurt it out spontaneously) but be aware of the fact that she is the one who has needed the break and that what you are supposed to be focused on now is YOU trying to live YOUR LIFE. What if she won't return? Just go on and as long as you are good alone you are good in all together.



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  • In general girls ask for a break, so if she asked for a break its generally they is some other guy lurking around. Don't waste you time in waiting for her to change her mind, don't contact her and start seeing other people.

    If she wants you back, she'll have to work harder than "lets get back"

    If you decided you want a break, decide why you wanted a break and if its been resolved talk to her, but be prepared to compete with other guys.

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    • did you mean in general girls do or don't ask for a break. & I would never ask for a break because of a guy, id do it because I need space, work etc.

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