Struggling to get over my ex?

It's been 3 months and been really tough for me. She seems to have moved on as is seeing someone else. I am trying hard to move on and although feel better than I did, I'm still pretty sad some days.

My ex and I have had a few text chats (more recently) and I don't think this is helping me move on. We've kind of become friends (unofficially!) without really discussing anything. I feel good when I talk to her but then bad when I realize it isn't the same. Should I just cease all contact. Is this really the only way?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • im kind of going through the same exact thing right now. but the question is who broke up with who? my ex broke up with me and I didn't want to move on I wanted him back. but I tried to move on and now I'm talking to another guy, but deep down I still want to be with my ex so much. so if you broke up with her maybe she is doing what I'm doing.but if she broke up with you I think you should try and end it and talk when you know you can handle it. that's what I am going to try and do to because I know how you feel when its not the same talking becuase that's what my ex does to me :(

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    • I broke up with her and now think I regret it. But she is seeing someone else so I guess I'm testing the waters by replying to her messages but I really can't figure out if she texts me for friendship or because she misses me. But the fact still remains she is seeing someone else!

    • I'm in the same boat, so know your not the only one who feels this way! every time she talks to me on fb or sends a text, which is quite regular I get excited because I'm afraid to lose her from my life. Though we broke up by mutual consent due to circumstances beyond our control, this contact is hindering the process of getting over. If I was man enough I would cut all ties but unfortunely I'm not! it just depends whether you are!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I have recently been in a similar situation to you, and if I were you, I would definitely cut contact. I have been NC with my ex for about 2 months now and I feel a lot better than I did when we were still talking. You can't move on properly when you're still talking to her.

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  • It is the only to move on. Especially if she's the one that broke it off. It sucks at first. Just focus on enjoying yourself. Go out with friends &/or do activities that make you feel good, whether it's sports or video games just get into it :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • It depends on how and why yo guys broke up. Most women prefer no drama and want exs to be friends. If you desire to be back with her, than you need to be honest with her. Personally, if she is calling and texting you, it kind of says that she misses you and wants to see how you are doing.

    I am in the same boat in a way. Me and my ex tried dating twice and it didn't work. I did all of the things wrong when I knew that we were headed for a break up. She dumped me for being dumb and needy out of panic. I realized that the best approach if you desire your ex back is the cut connections with her. When she calls and texts you, its a signal that she misses you. I texted my ex for breaking as it is giving the chance to get my life back together and be me again. I was shocked that she hasn't erased my number yet and told me that time heals all and may speak to me again.

    So the best thing to do, is to cut connections with her. It will make her realize that you have the ability to move on and she will see it. It may make her make a decision to come back to you when her new relationship wears thin. My ex is with someone new based on the decision between me and the guy. I acted stupid out of panic so she chose him. I asked her if we could ever date again and she told me it was too late cause she can't spend time with me when she is trying to spend more time with the new guy. Women tend to be indecisive so they prefer to say things and watch your reaction. Stay focused and NEVER lose your cool on break ups. I know personally that if you lose you cool, it makes it way more difficult to get her back.

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    • cheers buddy it sounds like good advice. I know I'm not helping myself by replying to her texts and I guess I'm just worried I'll lose her for good if I cut all contact. But I guess the reality is I already don't have her anyway anymore!

    • Trust me. Very little to no contact is the best approach. It allows TIME for both of you to heal and forgive. Once healing and forgiveness is achieved, she will be willing to talk to you again. Don't EVER reach out to her conversations thinking that she wants to be back with you, you will act silly and it convince her to leave and never speak to you again. Sometimes you have to wheel and deal and be her friend and than go from there.

  • In my opinion, this is the time to learn from your mistakes.. if you don't, you will always be the one who is getting dumped.. and, as you know, it's not fun. This is a good place to start => link

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