Guys, have you ever regretted breaking up with a good woman?

My boyfriend (who has severe depression and anxiety) broke up with me because he was too stressed and overwhelmed with other things in his life.

I’ve been nothing but a great girlfriend to him and he’s mentioned that he’s never met anyone like me. He said he wants to get back together, but I’m not sure when that will be.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well, 1, if she was that good a woman, he wouldn't leave just to fix "other things in his life", she would be part of that life.
    2. EVERY fucking woman on earth considers herself "good"... the reality... maybe a good 15% are.

    Cuz MOST women, dont even bother knowing the 3 male needs, try to treat us like they would treat a fellow female, like we care about all that sentimental emotional crap... we dont. we fucking dont.
    So when i hear "good" woman, or "good" man... i always ask people to define... because one persons good, could possibly be another person's bad.
    Example, some guys love virgins sexually.. love em, think they are good and awesome. Im not a big fan of virgins sexually, they are inexperienced and stubborn. Yes. i know im generalizing.

    I HAVE broken... well.. cheated on a woman i knew was "good"... yea if a guy thinks you are "good" and splits, he will regret it. (notice how i said if he THINKS, not if he TELLS you) I know i did. I was too young, i had so much stuff i hadn't experience. I panicked.

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  • I have never regretted breaking up with someone because I don't break up until I've tried hard to make it work and am confident that it's never going to. Once I've reached that conclusion, there's no reason for me to want to go back.

    I don't understand why he would break up with you because he's too stressed and overwhelmed. It seems to me that times like that would be when he would need you most (assuming that you are supportive and not making things worse and based on what you said it seems that you would be supportive).

    My opinion is that you should think really hard about whether you want to get back together if he decides he wants to. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life never knowing when he's going to withdraw from you or break up again because of something that's going on in his life that you had no part in?

    I can tell you from experience that loving someone with mental health issues that withdraws from you or attacks you when they get under stress is a very difficult thing to do. Eventually it wears you down and it's hard to be happy if your partner is unwilling or unable to be good and consistent partner for you.

    Is he getting treatment for his issues? My ex refused to which was really frustrating because it felt like she wasn't willing to put any effort into solving the problem and was just expecting me to live with the erratic behavior.

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    • He has medication but he doesn’t believe in taking it. A lot of the people in his family have become addicted to pills and he doesn’t want that for his life. I’ve tried to encourage him though and have always stood by his side. It does hurt that he pushes me away, it hurts his mom too because he does it to both of us.

    • I understand the concern about taking pills, but his condition is causing harm to himself and you and your relationship and apparently to others in his family also so the status quo is not a good option.

      I feel for you being in the position you're in. I know you care about him, as I did for my ex, but if he's not going to treat his conditions then my guess is that you'll find yourself being unhappy and frustrated and not being able to help him anyway since he won't try to help himself and you'll start wondering why you should be suffering when it's not really helping him.

      I can understand whatever you decide to do, but I do think it would be good for you to think seriously about your options and the effects of each and then make what you believe to be the best choice.

Most Helpful Girl

  • My ex broke up with me because both of my parents are male anr he grew up learning that its wrong and marriage should be only male and female

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • If you really care for him, then stay with him. Women tend to be way too passive when it comes to relationships. Sometimes you have to step up to the plate and make it known that you're not with him just as a default.

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  • He probably just wants to figure things out and doesn't want to overwhelm you with his problems. Or, since he has depression, he might be trying to separate himself from everyone. If that's the case, I would have someone make sure he's okay. Like, really make sure that he is feeling alright.

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    • Yeah that’s what he told me. He said that he didn’t want his issues to affect me and bring me down (I struggle with depression too). I worry about him and want to check in on him, but I want to respect his space too. I’m not sure what to do

    • I would adress your concerns to close family/friends. They know him well enough to react properly in this kind of situation. :)

    • Good thinking. His sister and I are very close, she likes me a lot and has still kept in contact with me after our breakup. I’ll reach out to her to see how he is.

  • Of course. So far. At least three that I really regret. Of course I was way younger and didn’t know what I had until years later. But then. Maybe not as well.

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    • Did you regret these break ups right away or over time?

    • Way over time. Years years over. Few months ago i had lot of down time so mind takes a walk about a lot. I dont dwell too much about past. Just learn to be more observant and willing to take chance next time.

      To your other question. To two of them haven’t seen them in decade plus. But one we chat here and there. Nothing more. She married and happy.

      Other ex’s once and blue moon we chat. But nothing more. I can hear in two of them regrets and one of them frustration she use to have at me but now understand me better after she walk in life. But that’s life.

      Good and bad. Happy and sad. But in all. It’s still life.

  • No I never did but I am share my experience from you standpoints.

    Im used to guide girl in a relationship and help her to improve herself.

    I am a strong charackter and I resist a lot of bad influence. If you say you can resist his influence to I would like to encounter you, go the same way.

    Help himbget get out of it, it is a really healing thing for the other person. I show my feeling and give her a space to be herself and recover even if she resists first.

    Most of them become really thankful and loyal. But some don't. They just suck you.

    Anyway I guess he is good because he broke up because of him, thats a good sign, but make sure this is the real reason first.

    Sometimes I can't resist the bad influence in this case I cannot be the needee guidance. I won't recommend you to try it in this case.

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  • I just know I wouldn't break up with a woman just because I'm going through something. Hell that's when I need her to be there the most.

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    • That’s what I would think too. He’s just like that. It frustrates me and his mom. When he’s stressed about things he just bottles everything up and deals with it alone, which we’ve told him isn’t healthy

    • Show All
    • I like what someone said about letting him know that "you're not with him as a default", or by default. If you love him, let him know you want to be with him and you will be there no matter what, if you haven't already. And whenever possible, actions speak louder than words

    • Everyone I talk to tells me I need to tell him how I feel. I just hate to feel like I’m bothering him. The day after we broke up I told him I wasn’t handling it well and that we should try to work things out. Is that enough? I’m not the most expressive with my feelings

  • Nope. I don't typically make decisions based on emotions. That way I don't end up thinking back and regretting.

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  • No. I was in a relationship with a really wondeful female but I lose love for her. So I broke up. I don't regret it because she deserves love.

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  • I've held onto a good woman now, for over 10 years now.

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  • I haven't done that but I have had the reverse occur.

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  • I've never dated a good woman.

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  • So this post is about you?

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  • Nope

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What Girls Said 2

  • dont do it he is a roller coaster. for life. you dont have to go through martyrdom

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  • Give it time, he needs to get himself in a good place first. Be supportive

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