dated this guy for 3 years I broke it off.. did a lot of damage but yet he says he still loves me just needs to get over stuff and hopefully we can be back together but he doesn't know he left 9 months ago for school so I barely see him, he has 15 more months to go he comes in about every month for a little while so I do see him... I'm just scared no contact is gonna back fire on me.
but I also don't want things to keep going like this its like we're stuck where we're at he texts me a little, never calls, and see's me rarely when he's in I know he still loves me just has a guard up please help
Most Helpful Guy
Many people misinterpret the "hard to get" thing.. Allow me to explain the difference:
Your asking if you ignoring him (being distant) is going to attract him (make him start texting more, calling, and even showing up for you).. I had a girl do this to me back in high school and it worked.. After that I caught on and now I actually laugh and become more "hard to get" for her, eventually to where I walk away because I realize she can't be real with her feelings rather than playing games. Sounds like you're gonna have to wait a while for having an opportunity to enforce it, or find a way to twist the script and get it to work now. Here's what I mean by playing hard to get.. You don't show him you're being hard to get (don't look like a slut in talking to every single guy in a sexual manor, yet never talking to him)... INSTEAD, you want to interact with him in his life -> Call, text, etc.. As well as physically being in his presence.. But then after that you stop it there, don't let him hug you or come over late at night, etc.. It's like pulling away your emotions from this man. Which yes, you don't seem to want to do that; but don't ask me to explain why it somehow magnetically attracts the other person. Always backfires, rarely produces any difference in results, and makes you seem like a needy/desperate/wanna-be who can't speak up for her true feelings..
Being hard-to-get (interact with him but start to fall out of love with him) -> Always works, most times it'll produce awesome results, you get to work on yourself rather than waiting on him, and makes you seem classy/confident/cool/etc and that you have no problem dealing with your emotions.
Hope that explains the concept.. Most girls who play games with me anymore either do one of two things:
1) Shoot their value through the roof and I stop chasing because I get intimidated that I'm not worthy of their attention
2) Shoot their value way under the table and I stop giving two sh*ts about them, I may be nice to them but I doubt I would ever get in a relationship with her once she's gone from "previously perfect for me" to "not worthy of me".. I really do hate games as you can tell.
Best of all, if he doesn't come around -> Your method will make you more attached to him.. My method will make you less attached to him; basically: Do it your way and you'll feel more pain if it does backfire.