Do women or men take longer to get over a breakup?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • We do and science proves it.

    www.binghamton.edu/.../

    Study: Women hurt more by breakups but recover more fully
    August 12, 2015

    Women experience more emotional pain following a breakup, but they also more fully recover, according to new research from Binghamton University.

    Researchers from Binghamton University and University College London asked 5,705 participants in 96 countries to rate the emotional and physical pain of a breakup on a scale of one (none) to 10 (unbearable). They found that women tend to be more negatively affected by breakups, reporting higher levels of both physical and emotional pain. Women averaged 6.84 in terms of emotional anguish versus 6.58 in men. In terms of physical pain, women averaged 4.21 versus men’s 3.75. While breakups hit women the hardest emotionally and physically, women tend to recover more fully and come out emotionally stronger. Men, on the other hand, never fully recover — they simply move on.

    According to Craig Morris, research associate at Binghamton University and lead author on the study, the differences boil down to biology. Women have more to lose by dating the wrong person.

    “Put simply, women are evolved to invest far more in a relationship than men,” Morris said. “A brief romantic encounter could lead to nine months of pregnancy followed by many years of lactation for an ancestral woman, while the man may have ‘left the scene’ literally minutes after the encounter, with no further biological investment. It is this ‘risk’ of higher biological investment that, over evolutionary time, has made women choosier about selecting a high-quality mate. Hence, the loss of a relationship with a high-quality mate ‘hurts’ more for a woman.”

    Conversely, as men have evolved to compete for the romantic attention of women, the loss of a high-quality mate for a man may not “hurt” as much at first, Morris said.

    “The man will likely feel the loss deeply and for a very long period of time as it ‘sinks in’ that he must ‘start competing’ all over again to replace what he has lost — or worse still, come to the realization that the loss is irreplaceable,” he said.

    Morris said that breakups are important because most of us will experience an average of three by age 30, with at least one affecting us strongly enough that it substantially decreases our quality of life for weeks or months.

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    • “People lose jobs, students withdraw from classes and individuals can initiate extremely self-destructive behavior patterns following a breakup,” he said. “With better understanding of this emotional and physical response to a breakup — Post Relationship Grief — we can perhaps develop a way to mitigate its effects in already high-risk individuals.”

      The study, “Quantitative Sex Differences in Response to the Dissolution of a Romantic Relationship,” was published inEvolutionary Behavioral Sciences on July 31.

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    • Basic statistics that uses 5705 and therefore allows you to make brash generalizations about each gender? I'm glad you think one study based on 7.1x10^-7 of the world's population is a viable sample size.

      Can you please explain how biased and subjective responses were controlled? How did they account for one person exaggerating their pain compared to another who may have suppressed their emotions and pretended they were fine?

      I'm not going to accept a random generalization based on genders when it's based on little evidence. Some random subjective quiz given to a relatively small sample size doesn't cut it. I'm interested to know WHY. What physiological aspect of the brain causes men more difficulty in recovering? None of these studies explained anything other than some pseudo-scientific explanation.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know how long it takes men to get over a break up cause most men don't discuss their love lives with me but I knew a girl who took over 5 months to get over a break up and never talked about anything other than her ex-boyfriend during that time. I knew another girl who pretended to be best friends with all of her ex-boyfriends friends after they broke up cause she wanted an excuse to be in contact with her ex-boyfriend without acting like she still missed him. This went on for years.

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What Guys Said 8

  • i say it depends on who ditched who. it also depends on their promiscuity as well. I'd like to say women though, just because of their "one and done" commitment mentality. but at the same time, i'd like to say men because they violated their nature to stay with one woman just to get dumped.
    The situation varies really... I think guys just take it with a brave face, and women pretend the brave face.
    Bottom line... i think they take an equal amount of time.

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  • In general, females process the breakup immediately after and begin the hurting/healing process. Males bottle up their feelings for what could be days or months, let them build up, then experience all of the hurting. How long healing takes is really up to the people involved and how the breakup went, but it's pretty normal for the female to be over it before the male starts his breakdown.

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  • Men cause we don’t handle it the same way as women do. It hits us later

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  • Whoever* has a higher EQ would*

    Last time i checked , EQ doesn't depend upon the gender

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  • I'd say women, but also depends on who dumped who

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  • Whichever one is least attractive takes longer to move on and get over it probably.

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  • I think everyone is different but if it is someones you known for a long long time like marriage. It is gonna tear either ones apart like old couples since the other one at times dies after due to all the stress.

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  • Men do.

    This has been scientifically proven for years now. Why does this question keep getting asked? It's as stupid as asking if the earth is round.

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    • What a load of absolute bullshit. It's proven? Prove it then. Whoever was more invested in the relationship will most likely take longer.

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    • Still waiting for you to acknowledge the points I addressed. Simple saying 'you don't understand the scientific method' will NOT work here.

      I have 2 claims.

      1. The sample size is not large enough to reach a decisive conclusion as you claim.
      2. The subjective variables were not efficiently accounted for based on the method.
      3. The only attempt at explaining the results was made via subjective pseudo-science rather an any qualitative study into the male and female biological aspects that could explain the results.

      Either address those claims with respect to the study or shut up. Your attempts to divert the topic from those 3 claims I've mentioned will NOT work. Have another try :)

    • 3 claims*

What Girls Said 4

  • It depends on the person and who ended the relationship. Some people are fine after just a few days/weeks while others need years to get over somebody. Seen both in both genders...

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  • In my experience, it's always the men that take longer. They initially take it better but as time goes on they feel worse and worse about it.

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  • It's usually women who take longer to get over a break up

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  • Men do, studies have shown.

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