Ex says I "won"?

I caught my boyfriend of a little over a year with another woman. I was at his door, asked him who she was (very calmly), and he shut the door in my face. I texted him and told him to block me and he did. I found the other woman and told her about my relationship with him, she informed me she'd been with him for almost 4 years. She was very kind and grateful. I don't know if they broke up. That was a few days shy of two months ago.
Sunday morning at 3am, he unblocked me on Facebook and sent a message to me. All it said was "You won". He blocked me again so I can't reply, but I managed to get a text through to him that simply said "Nobody won", but I got no response. All I did was tell the other woman, but she apparently told his parents, who were- in her words- "disgusted" by his behavior. I don't know who else knows but I didn't do anything malicious. I didn't set out to ruin his life. I was good to him and gave him everything he wanted and needed. I still cry almost every day over what he did and he sends me a message implying I was trying to beat him at something. I don't understand what he means by it and would appreciate any insight.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Mmmm. Based on the information provided, I would guess simply that the woman didn't know that he was two-timing her, as well, and so she left him, leaving him to end up alone and with bitching parents. Perhaps his parents also did something to affect his life negatively, as a response. Since you may have been the causal factor in all that, even if it wasn't intentional, the ultimate outcome of his life being damaged was probably an outcome that he thought you would have wanted--if not orchestrated.

    In other words, he might not have thought that was your intent, but he thought that the outcome of his life being affected negatively would be something you would feel victory over.

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    • That makes sense but I don't want that. I wanted him to have consequences to his actions but I didn't want to ruin his life

    • Most people would respond more venomously. Cheating is basically the worst thing you can do, in most peoples' minds. So, I guess he really didn't know you very well, even after a year.

    • He didn't. Despite everything from him being a lie, everything I felt was real and it doesn't just stop because I got hurt. I don't want to be with him and would never take him back (if he ever even wanted that) but I've never wanted everything to fall apart

Most Helpful Girl

  • For a person who doesn't know what love is, it's normal that he thinks this is some kind of competition. And there is no need to understand him. It's enough to know that you did your best, the problem was in him. You deserve better.

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What Guys Said 4

  • He didn't want you to know about it, and since you figured it out, you (won) as he sees it. The way he treated you shows that the relationship was on the way to its end. I understand that what happened is a painful slap, but sometimes you have no choice but to force yourself to move on.
    sorry...

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    • I know, and I've done really well. I cried for the first week and didn't go to work but after I heard back from the other girl and more clearly understood what he was doing, I began feeling better. I haven't been over it or anything but I've made progress and getting that message from him really affected me in a bad way. I feel like I lost a couple weeks of progress

    • It is good that you know the answers you are looking for came from the unexpected person (the other girl). so don't blame yourself or her for what happened. the actual reason behind all that mess is caused by that guy. the truth hurts, but it's better than hiding it.

      I know you'll feel some loneliness and pain, but one day with a little time and healing... it’ll be further away, and you’ll have a better perspective on why he wasn’t the right guy for you. no matter what happened, you still incredibly precious, and that guy didn't have a clue how wonderful you were. and even if it’s hard for you to accept, treat yourself like a diamond.
      It's a fleeting cloud, so wait for the sunshine 👊😎

  • Forget about the entire thing, he's playing with your emotions. He's doing the same thing that my ex is doing, and she was the girlfriend from hell. Will it help if I send a virtual hug?

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  • You won at hurting him back... even if that wasn't your intention.

    Truth is he beat himself.

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  • lol hahahaha he thought it was a game
    dumb ass

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