Should I give this guy another chance?

I met this guy in September and fell really hard for him. Recently he texted me saying that he "wants me now" and I'm wondering if I should give it a second try.

Back story: The guy and I would hangout before class and I really liked him. I'd leave anything I was doing study sessions, hanging out with friends, dinners. Just to hangout with him. Well one morning I went to Breakfast at a restaurant an he kept texting me. I explained that I was at breakfast with the girls but he kept texting me making it impossible for me to enjoy my time with them so I made everyone leave early. The guy meets me at my room and we had a pretty big fight over absolutely nothing I can't even remember what it was about . It was so futile. Well he walked out and waited for me at the top of the stairs to get him but I was so OVER compromising at that point. And I basically watched him walk out on me and our relationship. I was extremely hurt and I cried for about 3 weeks. The next three months we'd see each other out and about and he would act as if I didn't exist. He wouldn't text me back or acknowledge me. Note: we have not slept together

Recently he texted me and our convo went like this:

Him: Hi

Me:Sup? (after asking him to identify himself cause I deleted his number.)

Him:So what time are you coming back to campus?

Me: I'm confused

Him: About?

Me: this, how do you go from ignoring me and treating me like sh*t to wanting to chill?

Him: Your cute :)

Me: I want a real and honest answer.

Him:I'm sorry...:(

Me: Your not even telling me why, you really hurt my feelings

Him:I really liked my ex but now I'm over her

Him: I'm really sorry and yeah, I want you now :)

Me: what you did was super f***ed up and I'm not saying its okay but I'm guessing we can chill.

Him :) :) :)

* we continue to talk and he uses pet names such as baby, babe, hun, baby boo, and love

** I ask him why he is attracted to me and he responds with saying my face is beautiful and my body is banging. He also states that he missed/misses me

He normally would never talk to me like this and I called him out on it and he responded with a stop :( when I asked him where his real self was he responded with a I don't know :( .I was like don't be sad I meant it as a compliment that you've changed .

*** So after getting the back story about us should I give it a second shot? Or is he just trying to get me to sleep with him?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sorry, he doesn't sound right for you. Hurting you because he wanted another girl and now wants you back because you body is "bangin." I don't think so, you could do so much better. It seems like to me you were almost like a back up plan. A guy needs to respect his girl and be true to JUST her. He needs to prove himself to you more than that before you even consider doing such a thing. Maybe he will learn from this and grow to be a better guy. When and if he does that, then Id give him another chance, otherwise you will most likely be heading down the same path again. Hope this helps.

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    • I already told him that we were hanging out strictly friends but I don't think he'll listen to me. A few months ago I would of been thrilled that this has happened but now that its finally happened cause he's the bad boy type that I always go for but now I'm just kind of over it but part of me wants to explore the curiosity I have for him.

    • I don't know too much about both of you. But I think you seriously need to consider the pros and cons of getting back into such a thing. From what I know and understand, Id move on. You will always be curious. I'm still curious with guys I have been with, but for me to get back into those relationships would cause much for problems. You need to make it 100% clear you only want to be his friend and that he needs to respect your boundaries. :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Red Flag 1 - He texts you to come over? I would never try to make amends over a text.

    Red Flag 2 - He jumps straight into when are you coming back, I want to see you, I want to chill, baby I want you. - If he was sincere about getting you back in his life, he should have apologized first. This would show that he actually thought about what happened, and realized his mistake.

    Hell even after you told him he really f***ed up, he responded with smiley faces?

    This guy seems like a player, or just childish. If your just looking for a good time or something then maybe this is for you.

    My advice. Stay away. Not because second chances aren't deserving, but I think to really start a relationship up again there should be a more sincere feeling of remorse, which he lacks.

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  • yeah tell him to beat it because if he had any respect for you it wouldn't be this way. He just wants to sleep with you plain and simple.

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  • my Girlfriend fought with me for several times...nd me too wth her...even we had many breakups at least 50 in past 2 years... bt bt after breakup we use to talk and wth all respect nd dn wth love nd den again patchup...nd den laugh on what we did...coz reason can be any like y didn't you receive my call... nd ya my Girlfriend is sexy nd beautiful...bt what she has is a good mind nd soul...she cares for me like anything...nd so do i...

    well in short...he doesn't car for u...nd wants to njoy your beauty...wich he really speakin doenst deserve even 1 % nd I would strongly suggest stay 100feet away from him always... he is a TOTAL JERK ! nd ya no need to waste your tear for such a MORON !... you sound goood by nature just w8 fr a rite guy... all d best

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  • This is easy. Set up a date with him to some expensive restaurant and don't show up.

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  • He want you to sleep with him

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What Girls Said 5

  • YOU SHOULD PROBABLY NEVER TALK TO HIM AGAIN. First off,in the beginning when you guy were going out,YOU should NEVER always drop everything to see someone all the time. It's disrespectful to your friends and it shows the person you are dating that you have no back bone and that they can get over on you. I think that's part of the reason he was behaving impossibly because he expected you to do what he wanted,when he wanted it.

    Secondly,Him not talking to you afterward shows what kind of person he is.What a jerk...and yes it was hurtful to you. Which,i don't seem to understand why you would even entertain his texting you!

    Thirdly,Of course he only wants you for sex at this point. If you ask someone why do they like you...and their response is...youre pretty and you got a nice body,of course they only want you for superficial reasons.He doesn't really care about you.And you had best believe,if you date him again and you guys have sex,he will likely toss you afterwards...because that's all he wants.He was even disrespecting you in the texting conversation and you allowed it. You can't just go around saying to someone,"I want you now". What is that?!? He's obviously using you.

    Bottom line,he just wants sex and if you date him again,he will hurt you even more than the last time.Good Luck.

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  • Well first, you should never let yourself become a guys second option. He's only speaking to you because things are over with his ex. You should let him have some time to himself after a break up before getting with him. Sometimes a guy will tell you he's over someone and he really isn't. This is from experience. He could be rebounding and looking for someone to help speed up the process of him getting over his ex.

    Also, he doesn't sound like he really appreciates you as an individual. If you ask someone why they are attracted to you and they only thing they say is that you have a cute face and your body is banging, then most of time it's only a sexual attraction. If you two have hung out on multiple occasions and that's they only thing that he can say, that's not a good sign. He's not looking past the surface. It's not going to work that way because, he's not thinking of you in the same manner. A person who is really into you can probably tell you more things about you that he likes, than just physical things. It sounds to me that they only reason why he's calling you out of the blue is that he KNOWS that you'll ditch whatever you're doing to be around him. If you're not a priority to him, don't make him a priority.

    Another thing, just because a guy has a pet name for you and tells you he misses you, doesn't mean that he cares for you. I had a guy once that told me he missed me and he had pet names for me also. We were only FWB's and there was no other feelings there. Sometimes people tell you things that they know you want to hear to get what they want.

    If you are considering this, don't jump into things and take your time trying to figure out what his motivation is.

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  • well... FIRST of all, its not the wisest idea to drop everything and anything just to hang out with a guy. that is not a compromise,

    not to offend you, but I'm just gonna give it to you straight. to him, you were his b*tch, waiting on hands&feet to run to him when he calls (and yes I realize you've never slept with him, but the saying still stands true). you didn't show him a sense of independence or self value by doing that. you basically showed the exact opposite.

    if the time you told your friends to leave was a critical, traumatic point in his life, that would be understandable; if its a common occurance then I stay true to my statement.

    SECOND of all, liking you for your beautiful face and "your body is bangin" is a DEFINATE red flag that he just wants to get in your pants. if he said those things AFTER saying you are a nice person and have a good personality...blah...blah...blah that would possibly be a different story.

    THIRD of all, why are okay with being his second choice? have some self respect. you are a beautiful young woman who I know can do better than that. to make matters worse, he was basically already yours and left for his ex. obviously he doesn't care who he's with as long as they can meet his unrealistic availability standards.

    i am not saying any of this to hurt you, I'm trying to help you because you are obviously a nice girl that tries to do the right thing, but its good to know these things now and feel a little hurt because of the bluntness RATHER than the running in an unproductive circle of pain, confusion and suffering.

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    • Yeah I understand that you mean no harm. And like I know that I have self respect and standards I just have seemed to missplaced them. Maybe this is my chance to find them again and go back to the girl I use to be. And I was first before the ex. And it bothers me that we had that fight cause we'd be together if it didn't happen...But I never like waited for him or put my life on hold, And in all honesty I thought I was just being devoted to us but instead I just looked stupid.

    • its okay, its not completely your fault. you didn't know and its not like your friends had the balls to tell you.

      you still have a chance with billions of other guys in the future. you can be devoted without all that nonsense. you seem like a great girl that any guy would be lucky to have. :)

  • no no...run away.. he doesn't sound good at all... female intuition ...

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  • no. don't give him another chance. he doesn't sound worth it

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