Girls only: Why do YOU cheat?

Clearly don't answer if you just want to tell me you don't cheat, or that not all girls are like that, I know this already.

i've been hit on by quite a few taken friends (no I'm not bragging) who I know all loved their boyfriends.

why do it?

also when I caved to one, she made me feel like sh*t and told me about the situation she was in.

why do that either?

i want to clarify this isn't about me, just what compels a woman to cheat,i know what drives most men to cheat.

me writing about my friends is just to show why I want to know.
why bother dodging, lying to and (hopefully) feeling bad about your boyfriend.

why not end it and be as free as you like?
so I see quite a bit of

Rocky relationshps

not getting enough attention

don't have feelings for my man


why keep it going?


Most Helpful Guy

  • my ex should answer this, she knows all about cheating.

    • haha

      a genuine laugh from me, so much contempt

      sorry to here that though

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    • that happened to my best mate :/

    • ihatework... same thing, I had many many chances to cheat but passed because, well I'm a faithful guy in a relationship. But that's okay, after I found out she was cheating on me, we broke up, and one of her close friends was hitting on me, and her friend is a lot hotter than my ex, so you know I wouldn't pass this up since I am now single.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Probably because their current boyfriend isn't giving them the attention they want, so they go to other people to fulfill their "need". That and, we're very insecure. We need to be told constantly that we're beautiful and you still love us, otherwise we'll feel like sh*t. Sad but true, for most girls anyway. Otherwise, to fill that empty hole, we associate with other guys.

    • yeah and your girls don't think guys go through this eather? you sound like you need confidence and more self esteem if you "need " to be complimented, yet when a girl cheats they are justified and when a guy cheats its only because he wants sex and he's a prick and a whole list of things. guys go through the same thing and girls need to stop bitching about life. no one ever said it was easy

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    • "guys go through the same thing"

    • ^^^

      this is what I mean

      my first comment had nothing to do with your answer

  • Maybe because they figure men cheat too so they might as well beat them at their own game.

  • women are insecure, and when they cheat, its because they want to know that they are still attractive. if you're in a relationship, you can feel like you are undesirable to others. so if you find out that your still wanted, even though you already have a boyfriend, it somehow validates them. they can really love their boyfriend, but still want to know that other men pay attention to them.

    • Why do women in relationships feel undesirable to others? I would have thought being in a relationship would make them feel more desirable because they have someone to care for them and love them which in turn would increase their confidence. Is it because no other guys pay attention or ask them out because they already have a boyfriend?

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    • Does it also depend on how much much attention her boyfriend is giving her? What I mean is, if her boyfriend is giving her all the attention she wants and treating her like a princess will she still go to extreme lengths to get attention from other guys because her boyfriend is the only guy giving her the attention? If her boyfriend didn't really pay any attention to her then I would understand that she would seek the attention elsewhere.

    • yeah I'm sure that also is a big factor. I personally would be thrilled and feel lucky to have a boyfriend who would treat me well that well.

      i think cheating is caused by a few things. attention being one of them. another might be that the spark is gone in the relationship, and sometimes you just meet someone else. its wrong to cheat, and I think if you're going to, you should be single, but sometimes it happens unexpectedly, no matter how well the significant other treats you.

  • vvv That's not why

    Guys cheat for physical things like sex or making out or something.

    Girls cheat for emotional things.

  • I have never cheated on a guy in my life and I don't think I ever would, I think its always guys that cheat more

    • i've had more female friends try to cheat with me, than male friends cheat.

      and I have more guy friends than girls.

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    • to me seem the same experience. The Miss so innocent who out of nothing has the quickie... and it's so easy for them to get it anywhere anytime it's just scary, like you really can never find out

    • actually statistically women cheat just as much as men do, stop bashing guys and stop blaming us for this problem

  • Women cheat to get attention, for revenge, out of boredom, because of insecurities, for the risk and that's what I can come up with. I'm a girl who's never cheated (I read your descryption just had to say it XD ) but some of my friends can't get a break and those the reasons they do it for. The last one in particular ( the one that just cheats for the risk of getting caught) is really insane! I care about her as a friend, I'm even worried about her she won't stop cheating with different guys all the time just like that, without feeling any guilt at all! I am amazed by her. Anyways just wanted to share...

    • Are you only amazed by her actions, or amazed and a little envious? (I can already see the regret coming from you if you live to be older...!)

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    • You're the one saying you'r e "amazed" by your friend...

    • Seriously?... Amazed as in simply surprised of her horrible behavior . Don't bitch about my English I'm still learning!

  • maybe they aren't happy with their boyfriend, ... etc. I think we have the same reasons as men.

  • Um Maybe It's Because They Like You Better

  • I have a friend who cheats ... I think she likes the excitement of a new relationship and gets bored when she's not getting the constant reassurance and flattery once the relationship gets old. I have another friend who cheats because she dates guys she's not into rather than be alone and then self destructs and ends up cheating. I have still another friend who doesn't really cheat, but she is never monogamous because her parents had a terrible marriage and I think she likes the power of not giving herself to one person completely. I've never cheated, but I also know my flaws well enough to put myself into situations where I'd be likely to want to cheat.

  • Maybe we're not as "ecstatically happy & in love" in our relationships as we'd like you to believe or as you believe.

    Maybe because we KNOW we're not gonna marry the guy we're presently with and want to have a few jump off encounters just because we have hormones, too, & want to try you out.

    Maybe because we ARE gonna marry the guy we're with but don't want any regrets or what ifs down the line--so we're gonna try something else before we get hitched

    Maybe we're just horny or drunk or high & you're just Mr. Right-Now, not our Mr. Right!

    Maybe we're just human, it's complicated & we're wired that way 'cause we're not really ready to settle down and plug into 1 male for the remainder of our lives just yet...

    Maybe your reputation in bed precedes you, we're turned on & curious & want to test you out.

    Girls are human, too. We feel, think, masturbate, experience, talk about, & fantasize about sex too; why can't we be thought of as having the same reasons as guys for cheating , too? Because we DO!

    • so girls and guys are on the same level here.

      i don't get it, girls complain that guys cheat all the time, but they justify themselves doing it with the same reasons men do.

      why can't people see it's a problem of sh*tty morality not being a boy or girl

  • because guys are f***ing assholes who need to drop dead (most of them)

  • I just posted this on a different question, but I think its applicable here as well, so I'll share it again:

    I always "knew" that I would never cheat. I think its a horrible thing to do. I don't want to hurt the person I love. But I cheated on my first serious boyfriend. We had been together for almost 5 years. He left for 3 months during the summer for his job and during this time, I started hanging out more with a friend of mine who I had had a bit of a crush on for the past 3 years (who also had a long-term girlfriend who was away for the summer). We became really close, a lot of sexual tension and chemistry developed between us, and eventually we started fooling around. It was exhilarating, exciting, incredibly hot. The fact that it was wrong, that we could get caught, and that it was "our little secret" made it that much hotter. It was the best sex I'd ever had, which made me come back for more. I tried to justify it too---the fact that my boyfriend decided to leave without discussing it with me and that he had broken up with me a few times before, which made things in our relationship feel "different" and made me feel less trusting of him (he had broken up with me because he wanted to know what else was out there, since I was his first girlfriend, the first girl he had sex with, etc., and I felt that the main reason he came back was because he wasn't very successful at getting girls)---I felt resentful about all of this.

    When I was alone and thinking more clearly, I felt incredibly guilty. I knew that feeling like my relationship wasn't happy wasn't a good enough reason to cheat---that if anything, I should end things withmy boyfriend, and that I should have done that before I started cheating. So, I "tried" to break up with him. I told him I was unhappy and wanted to end things, but he cried and begged me to stay with him and promised that things would get better. I had never broken up with anyone before and I still cared about him, so I didn't know how to be assertive enough to say "No. It's over." And I didn't want to tell him that I cheated and hurt him more than I already was. In the end, he came home and found out that I had cheated and ended things with me.

  • it's probably for more attention.

    some times I don't think my guy pays enough attention to me, and more to his video games

    when it's 3 hours to video game and 10 min to me, I feel a little less loved and I look for love elsewhere, just to feel a little bit more better about myself.

    but I still love my man. he just needs to be happy with his video game time and I'll give him that, but I need my needs met some times too!

    so it works out. but I let the other guy know, there's nothing serious. because I've got a man at home.

    • why bother dodging, lying to and (hopefully) feeling bad about your boyfriend.

      why not end it and be as free as you like?

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    • ahh don't be

      i just don't want to see people go down the same path.

      never settle for less than you deserve

    • Here's a tip, never listen to a guy who said he is gonna change, just like a guy should never listen to a girl when she says she will change. If he can't put down his games for you then leave him, don't cheat. I would much rather have a girl I love, break up with me then cheat on me, even if I don't know about it. If you cheat but stay with your man because it feels like you love him then you don't really love him. You might care about him a lot, but not love when it comes to relationship love.

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