Should I let him go and live his own life?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two and half years, a little over a year ago he went into the army and we continued to stay together despite the distance. He's continuously paid for me to fly out and visit him every three months, and we just spent the most amazing two weeks together for Christmas. We've been doing the long distance relationship really well with almost no fighting. In fact the only thing we argue about is whether to stay together.

He's worried about me being all alone for so long, and worries about how we're going to make this work. I just want to do everything I can to keep us together, because I've never been this happy with anyone. But despite everything we do, it seems like there's always something happening that's keeping us apart.

He just recently was stationed on the other side of the USA for at least the next year, maybe the next two. We've talked about this problem for the last year, and I'm willing to move to stay with him. He agrees that he wants to stay together, but he's worried about how we're going to pay for the move and for a place for me. If I move I will need to quit my job where I'm making just enough to pay my bills and get another immediately where I won't be making so much after I get there. I would be completely dependent on him for the move and to pay for an apartment for me at least until I get a job. He says he doesn't care about the money, but I feel like I would be dragging him down. Especially because he doesn't make that much and I have a lot of debt he doesn't know about. On top of that, it would take a few months to save up the money so I might not be able to see him for about six months.

We've talked about getting married and having the army pay for me to be transferred out there, but neither of us is ready for marriage.

Should I keep trying? Or should I let him go, and give him the chance to live his life without me weighing him down? I feel like that's the right thing to do, but I can't imagine ever finding someone as perfect for me as him, and he tells me the same thing. I need an outsider's viewpoint of the situation to help me make a decision. Thank you.


Most Helpful Guy

  • yes you should keep trying- as someone who is in a similar situation (im stationed in Korea, my girlfriend is on the West Coast), we talk about a lot of the same stuff... Also, you are part of what keeps him going. If you left him, you'd be ripping his heart out. I felt like crap having to leave her when my leave was up... It is imperative you keep hanging in there- you won't be in these circumstances for long... just don't quit on him (or yourself). You need him, he needs you. Why not make it work.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you are not ready to get married...just keep doing what your doing. If you both love each other, you both will get through this difficult time. Don't move out there! while he is away, focus on developing your self and your future. Find a job you are passionate about and get schooling for it. Work on being the best person you can be so that when you two finally get together, you can give him your best!

  • Keep trying. If it's real, hold on to it.


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