Why beg ex to talk and then don't respond to messages?

Self-explanatory... why would my ex beg me to call and talk to him and then hardly say a word when I ask what's up? I took a week to respond and he asked to talk later but never did and hasn't responded to my question yet.
Took the plunge and initiated contact. Made small talk and had a drama free conversation for hours through text. He told me he wanted to talk because he wanted me to know that it was his fault and not mine and that I was a great person.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Depends on the situation really.. If your question put him in the spotlight then he's gonna feel high pressure, if that's so then he won't respond or be generally talkative. Here's how my ex would have made me feel that pressure (in junction with your situation as I see it)

    Her: *Calls me*

    Me: Hey, glad to see you called

    Her: *More small talk* + "So, why when I call do you not talk to me?"

    Me: What do you mean?

    Her: You practically begged me to call, and when I do you have nothing to talk about

    Me: I couldn't tell ya *hangs up phone*


    There's several different ways that this pressure relates to how he perceives you:

    - You may be coming off as more valuable than he is

    - You may be coming off as more of a bitch

    - You may be coming off as insecure/needy


    Whatever it may be, you can't take it personally or dwell on it.. Just realize that he's been fake -> He wanted to talk and to have you invest effort, then he broke the agreement and didn't wanna invest any energy.. That's crap, move on.

    The four agreements: link

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • Good points. I merely asked what he wanted and he asked to talk later. All I got later was him saying "Idk, just wanted to talk." So basically he had nothing to say, missed me in the moment, and wanted to see how I felt about him by my reaction... so I kept it plain and simple, what do you want? My response to that was, is it anything important you want to talk about? I think my reaction was entirely lacking emotion so he probably was upset I didn't jump at the opportunity to talk.

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    • Because he doesn't treat me right. Just now he called because I texted him about something important and he blew me off 2 minutes in because his "friend Chris" was calling him about the same thing. He hasn't called me back 45 min later. He might have a girlfriend and that might have been her, but that's not nice. Sorry just ranting, but that's why, because he's incapable of being nice.

    • I can understand your frustration, just do yourself a favor and realize where it originates -> You're own expectations.

      When you "want" or "need" something from someone else, you will ALWAYS be let down if it's anything (even minutely) different from what you expected. If you wanted roses and he got you orchids then you COULD get upset. So learn to channel those expectations into things you have the power to control. You can't control him, you're basically lining yourself up for bad feelings

What Girls Said 1

  • been there. no idea, but I just brush it off and move on


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