Was he having an affair?

My boyfriend told me about this girl who others say they flirt a lot. He told me "I told them all I have a girlfriend and they were all happy for me" then gave me his phone to look at the msgs. I saw they had 25 snaps in one day. He told me it was for this school project and getting costumes ready. I said ok.
Days later we get into a huge fight started by me and he says he needs space. We have eachother's login passwords. And I saw that after the fight the girl msged him "you can buy me this makeup set :)" and he said "Maybe for X-mas :)" I confronted him and he changed his passwords and said she is just a friend and no longer my business who I talk to.
I begged and cried for him to take me back. Till I find out he is sleeping with that girl days after the BU. I begged and cried more to him till he blocked me. I feel so dumb cause he was prolly cheating on me with her. And I lost all respect for myself to get him back.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Try to change your perspective and the way you treat yourself after what happened. your reaction and your behavior were totally normal because you wouldn't accept and preferred the denial and resist. so don't blame yourself, it was an emotional wave. from my point of view, what happened to you was good and bad at the same time.
    it was bad because you trusted the wrong guy.
    It was good because it revealed some things that need to be fixed, and the way you treat yourself when things go wrong. that relationship has given you the chance to figure out who you are... inside or outside of relationships.
    start collecting garbage (your ex) and throw them away where they belong... cut contact and lower your hopes.

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  • So sorry to hear that.

    I've heard this almost exact same story with a guy.

    It is funny that they act like you are being paranoid and the next minute they are fucking the person you were "paranoid" about.

    Sometimes you aren't jealous, sometimes you just aren't blind.

    Sorry this happened to you. Just be happy that you are a better person than him.

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    • 7d

      Really? Same story?
      Yea, I know. I just feel like such an idiot for begging someone that horrible back. Like wow.

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    • 7d

      That is true but also you want a strong girl. Everyone appreciates them not a weak one begging a jackass back.

      What advice did you give that guy? Do you think he is weak for begging too. Guys usually have that stereotype.

    • 7d

      I don't care if she is feeling weak... not at all. I think girls assume guys think like them. I care more about her ability to feel and willing to not hide her true feelings. A weak moment in a weak situation does NOT equal a weak person.

      Yes, sadly girls are wired to be incredibly turned off by a guy showing weakness, kinda lets you know you can't be 100% honest with your partner.

      No he is not weak for begging her back. It is a LOT harder to show weakness... so much more at stake than when you hide your feelings. People hide their feelings bc they are scared. I'm not saying being weak in everything you do, I'm saying being vulnerable takes a lot more bravery.

      I'll take a weak vulnerable girl over her twin sister who is afraid to show her feelings.

      I can help a girl feel confident just by treating her with value. The kind of weakness you had is only temporary.

      I told him to dump her ass and walk away.

  • Sounds like he was having an affair. The old saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" is true. He'll cheat on her and on and on. Don't go back this guy and certainly don't be the other woman.

    Keep your chin up and your respect will come back.

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    • 7d

      I know just hate how I begged him. Cannot believe myself. I put him so high up on there. And he never apologized while I did.

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    • 7d

      Thanks! Any advice how to make me feel less stupid tho?

    • 7d

      Keep on doing your own thing. Don't look him up and just keep on keeping on.

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