If an engagement is called off, should the woman return the engagement ring?

Cardi B and her husband were apparently going to separate, and people were arguing whether or not she should return the ring. It was a $500k ring.
Depending on what state your in, many laws consider it a gift and your property therefore it's completely up to the woman whether she'll return or keep it.

Personally, I wouldn't want to keep it, I'm the type of person if you're out of my life, I mean get the fuck out. I'm deleting everything and burning, selling or returning the rest. I don't really like jewelry, but for example in Cardi's case, apparently he cheated. So I wouldn't want him to have it either because the engagement was cut off because of his wrongdoing. I'd rather sell it and donate the funds (after taking a bit to buy me ice cream for my upcoming emotional distress, not gonna lie).

I think if the woman is the reason that the wedding is called off, like by her cheating, then yes she should be required to return the ring.

TLDR: Should a woman be required to return an engagement ring? Does it depend on who's fault the wedding is being cancelled for?
  • She should always return it
    Vote A
  • She should only return it if she broke the engagement (e. g. by cheating)
    Vote B
  • She should never return it
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Updates:
I don't care about what the law is now. I care about y'alls opinions. Otherwise, I'd have googled it. Stop commenting what's the law in everywhere except Montana or whatever, tell me what YOU think.

It'd be like me asking your thoughts on gay marriage, the law says it's ok but I'd like to know how Y'ALL feel. Same concept here peoples.

Thanks.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • An engagement ring is a gift in promise of marriage. If the marriage goes through the promise is fulfilled and it’s hers. If it doesn’t then it should be returned.
    However, I do kind of feel there is a grey area here if the promise is broken on his end through cheating... that’s a choice and is directly contradicting the promise that ring was making.
    A few years ago my sister in law was engaged after dating this guy for 3 years. He then decided he wanted to move to a rural town for a job opportunity so she went with him... quit her job, sold her car to put in for a house deposit in this town, left her family and friends and within 3 months of being there she found out he’d been cheating on her for their entire relationship. She came out of that relationship $15k in debt so she kept the ring and in her situation I get that

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    • I like you're take. That grey zone needs attention.

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    • Well first most people dont care enough to take your stance seriously and the focus on the hype around the question. They dont like talking about grey zones and couldnt be any more further disinterested. Like, how many people really go through these events on this App.

      But you better defined the case in your original post. The latter questions seem to only create more ambiguity in favour of the opposite answer. Like the punishment should fit the crime and the latter questions are just to general to be of any distinct use.

    • Thanks for MHO 😊

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 33

  • It is a conditional gift. Many courts make her give it back.
    It would be like paying for a car and they don't give you the car. Or paying someone to remodel your house and they don't do it.

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    • I was about to say I wonder what the courts say about it. Figure they'd have a pretty good idea on the topic.

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    • Oh, my. Thats quite frank and straight to the point

    • @The_FallenOne Its not like I'm the one engaged so not my choice "mama"

  • The proper etiquette is very simple: If the breakup is either at her request or due to her misbehavior, she owes him the ring. If the breakup has any other flavor, the ring is hers, by right.

    It is that simple. Those silly little bitch boys who demand she return it no matter what are just that, little bitch boys.

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  • I rather doubt it was a 500k ring.. they dont really make those... Unless you're really rich... that having been said, if you break the engagement off you're a shitty person if you dont return it.

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  • I think she should. Like you gotta be all kinds of evil to want to hurt somebody 500$k when its undeserved. Like, just cuz you're mad doesn't mean you should go kill the dog.

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    • But he's the one who broke his end by cheating

    • I think that on a macro level the answer is no. In most cases that wouldn't be a justification to keep the ring. The main reason being that the marriage hadn't been made which takes precidence. Its really hard to break that vital standard.

      You'd have to be involved to a great degree to discern what is fair in any specific case. It would require specialists to understand. The exeption is that the ring provides collateral due to the losses in the investment into the relationship. So, one question is have you put more or the same amount of money into the relationship that will be lossed as a result of the breakup that is equivalent to the ring? If say you dated the guy for a day there's no chance you lost X amount of money, etc.

  • I liked you added the cheating thing.
    I've asked for it back, was no problem, then I tossed it hard into a field afterward.
    Should she return it no matter what? Yeah... I think so.
    Will she? Maybe not, but I wouldn't get bent up about it...
    wasn't a lucky ring.

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  • In the US, the law is that an engagement ring is a gift subject to a condition subsequent. The intent is to make a gift in contemplation of marriage. If the engagement is cancelled and the couple are not married, the bride is legally obligated to return the ring. Once the marriage occurs, the condition subsequent is fulfilled and the gift is complete. It is possible that some states may not follow this law, but I think that would be unlikely.

    Once the marriage is complete, the ownership of the ring is determined by reference to the law of dissolution of marriage and that body of law DOES vary widely between the states. In Florida, gifts between spouses are considered to be marital assets and are subject to being divided equally upon dissolution.

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    • Wow, i had no idea that there were laws for engagement rings

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    • Right, and I found it interesting. I only presented a different position as something to think about, not as an argument against your state's laws.

    • @musicbrain5 No, I get it. I think my state's law is correct because that is the law that I have known for 30+ years and I have become very comfortable with it. If I had grown up in Canada, I would probably feel the same way about Canadian law.

  • I think she should return it. It was conditional. If was given with the intent of marriage, and no other reason. It represent the common marriage. But that's no longer the case.

    With a 500K ring, I'd immediately think it was a con right from the start. Since you don't want to consider the law, here's my view. I'd say fuck the law and take it from her, by force if necessary. I would not tolerate that, even if it meant going to jail over it.

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  • $500,000? Was she going out with a Saudi oil baron?

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  • I think in some states, if a man ask for the ring back after a failed engagement, she legally has to return it.
    family.findlaw.com/.../...a-broken-engagement.html

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  • I think in most cases, she should consider returning it.

    I know it's legal in many states, but this brings to mind a question that embraces so much more than gift properties and rings.

    Just because something is legal doesn't mean it's morally right. Just because something is illegal doesn't make it morally wrong. There were times and places where it was perfectly legal to own slaves. It's been perfectly legal to beat one's wife. It was legal in the Aztec Empire to strangle babies (in fact, it was encouraged). Arguably the Nazis made it legal to discriminate against and kill Jews. Does that mean it was morally right?

    It's been illegal to harbor fugitive slaves. It was illegal to harbor Jews from the Nazis. It was illegal to consume pot. It was illegal for mixed race couples to marry. Does that make it morally wrong?

    The question that former brides-to-be should be asking is not about the legalities, but is it MORALLY RIGHT to keep the ring?

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    • In which cases should she not consider returning it?

    • Well, I haven't given that much thought. Off the top of my head, I suppose relationships that turned abusive.

  • I'm pretty sure it is only a gift if you give it to her on Christmas, valentines day or other stuff like that. She should definitely give it back though. He could possibly return it if it is still within a certain time period or give it to a friend or family member, because he probably can't sell it.

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    • In all cases?

    • I know most places have that rule, and even if they don't if they guy really wanted it back he could take you to court for it. I'd assume the only guys willing to do that are those who gave you a family ring or those who just want to get back at you. Regardless I think you should give the ring back, or at least ask them what they want to do with it. The ring is supposed to represent a promise and the relationship you have, if you end it you really shouldn't keep it.

  • I think she should return it because since there's no engagement anymore, the ring has no value. It's kinda like when you get divorced, you should get rid of the ring, because there's no more marriage, therefore, the ring has no value.
    But, I don't care what they do, it's not my problem, if they wanna keep it, then so be it.

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  • If the ring was given on a Holiday such as Christmas and that was a part of the engagement then it was a gift and should not be returned. However if the ring was given on a random Tuesday then it should be returned as the implied contract was broken.

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    • But the contract was broken because of him.

    • I didn't read the specific Cardi B drama as I could care less about celebs and their engagements. Simply tried to answer your overall question.

  • Yes because it was giving as a condition of the gift.

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    • Exactly! Except in Montana it is either fully conditional or conditional with guilt considerations

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    • @ThisandThat Where I live, in California, it is covered by California Civil Code § 1590. If the engagement is broken for any reason other than death of the donor (the one who gives the ring) the ring's ownership reverts to the donor. In other words, California is a no-fault state so it does not matter who ended it. Most states West of the Mississippi treat it in the same way.

    • Also bear in mind that this only exists PRIOR to marriage. Once a marriage is consummated the ring becomes the property of the recipient unless the marriage is later legally annulled.

  • Yes. If you aren't marrying why would it be kept? That usually costs a lot of money.

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  • I wouldn't want to keep that shit. I usually delete and get rid of anything from past relationships. It makes it easier to get over.

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  • If he's the one who cheated, then it didn't mean enough to him regardless of how much he spent on it. She should be allowed to do what she wants with it.

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  • I can see how some people think it’s ok to keep it because it technically is a gift. But I don’t understand why someone would want to keep it. Isn’t it just going to remind you of a failed engagement?

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  • Return the ring because if you dont then you will look like a person that likes to own things for the amount of money they are worth.

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  • what kind of scum bag keeps the ring?

    Seriously here people.. w.. t.. f..

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  • If you don't want to be married to the guy, why do you want the ring? So you can sell it and profit from it? That just makes you a cunt.

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  • I don't think a woman should ever return the engagement ring it was given to them as a gift so why should she have to give it back

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    • Because except in Montana the law views it as a conditional gift. If the conditions are not met by her, the "payment" must be returned.

  • Under current law, only Montana considers an engagement ring as an unconditional gift. Every other state has it as a conditional gift or a conditional gift with fault considerations. What that means practically is that, except in Montana, if the woman breaks off the engagement the ring reverts to the legal property of the one who proposed. If the giver breaks it off, it depends on whether the state considers it a conditional gift or a conditional gift with fault considerations. If the former, she still legally has to return the ring. If the latter, it depends upon the law of the state.

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    • Of course they did go through with the marriage, so now it depends completely upon the state law.

  • 500.000 for an engagement ring? who are you Cleopatra lmao. How much is the wedding ring! 20 milions lol

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  • She should give it back but it often doesn't happen. A lot of women I have known end up selling it for some quick cash.

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  • Most definitely yes, the only exception being that if the guy decides to call it off, he should leave it up to the girl if she wants to return it.

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    • So if he cheats but doesn't call it off and she does, she should return it? L

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    • I'm not materialistic, but I'm petty. I'd probably throw it or sell it and donate the funds. I don't think he should keep it either. You hurt my heart, I'll hurt your wallet. Sorry not sorry.

    • Ok. I already covered that situation. Best wishes.

  • Yes, of course.

    A $500,000 ring? I'm calling bullshit right here and now. ;)

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  • Yes! She should return it. I made my ex fiancée life a living hell until she returned it. Granted it wasn’t about the ring at that point still.

    Rings cost thousands of dollars in some cases. If a b*tch thinks she call off a major event like a wedding and be rewarded for it. Ya got another thing coming.

    Any dude that lets a woman keep an engagement ring needs to be b*tch slapped.

    The woman has no say once she exits the relationship.

    If it’s gay marriage who ever bought it keeps it. Pretty simple in my opinion.

    As for law it’s a state to state thing. Plus no lawyer will waste their time on it unless it is like a million dollars or something ridiculous like that. So people talking about law... sure. Ya might be able to try small claims. Lawyers won’t waste their time.

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  • She should always return it.

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  • Only gold digging bitches won’t return it.

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What Girls Said 13

  • If it were me, I would always return the ring regardless of the reason for the break-up. It wouldn't feel right for me to keep it. Even if he cheats, that is a reflection of his character, and I think returning the ring and gracefully walking away is the best reflection of *my* character. Of course, I'm speaking only for myself. If a woman is cheated on, she should do what she feels is right for herself.

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  • I think she should give it back if it was a family ring, but if it was a new ring, I think she should keep it.

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  • It´s a object that he bought for you to show his love. So of course if the Love is gone you return all his stuff. Everything.

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  • Tf? The ring was given as a token of marriage in the near future. If the marriage never happens give the ring back! I just find it tacky to keep.

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  • I think it should really depend. If they've been engaged for a certain number of years maybe not. Engagement rings don't retain their value I dont think but if they've just got engaged and broke up and the guy is still paying for it then it's only right he should have it back.
    In the case of a 500k engagement ring well that's far too expensive and should be returned or the woman should pay her ex the value, or take on the payments or negotiate a deal that both parties are happy with.
    I think there is no reason any woman should keep an engagement ring if she breaks up with her partner before marraige can take place unless maybe her fiancee died.

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  • Ariana Grande did the right thing by giving back her ring to Pete Davidson. I would give it back too. It's not mine anymore.

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  • Actually many laws saw that it is a promise. If someone cheats or calls off the engagement they are breaking the promise and must return the ring.

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  • When it's an investment like this, yeah you have to give it back.

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  • Nah fam, it was a gift

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  • Who buys a 500k ring omg

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  • They aren’t actually seperating, shit is fake asf

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  • Heii No!

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    • You gave it to me it's mine

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    • You should know to never argue with a winner.

    • Ok ok Mr. Winner

  • I see it as a gift. I'd keep it and sell it for the money. He ain't getting it back.

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