How do I get over my ex?

It has been 2 years, I've dated, socialize(d), joined clubs, go to my life, but when I am alone at home, or before bed all I can think of how I miss him. :( I was the one who broke up because I did not feel he appreciated me enough, and did not want to get his life together so we can have a life together one day. We were together for over 5 years, we were best friends; we had great conversations, but our relationships was not the best. He was so laid-back compared to me. But I really miss him. :(

It really hurts. I don't know what to do to get rid of this feeling I have for him. I don't want to be with him, I miss him though; there is a void. I don't want him in my life...I was really stressed when he was with me as a boyfriend, I am so confused. I don't know what I want from him, is this normal? I cannot focus could go on for a few days when he pops into my head...sometimes just a moment, but it's when I am not doing anything...could be for a second.

What do I dooo...:( :(


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you're maybe just in the wrong dating pool. If you find someone who was like your ex in the ways you liked about him, but that is opposite from him in the things you didn't like about him it would help. I know you won't be able to find someone who has all of his good qualities and none of his bad qualities, but if you could find someone that you enjoy being around more it might help. For one, don't do things with new guys that you did exclusively with your ex. Not for a while anyways. Going places and doing things you did solely with him will bring back memories of him. I am going through this too. Mine recently moved 12 hours away without even a goodbye. I have found that nights are the worst. During the day when I am busy with other stuff I don't think about him as much. When I do think of him I try to think of the bad things about him so I don't miss him as much. My problem, and it could be yours too, is that subconsiously I think he will be back. I keep thinking he will realize his mistakes and try to change and he will come back. My problem with that theory is that mine was "perfect" until he found out he had a child with another woman who is now 2 years old. He missed out on those first two years of her life because he didn't know about her. Now he is trying to make her happy by being with baby momma. I'm in a little different of a boat, but if you are thinking he may change and come back, stop it. If he has been gone for two years, it's time to move on and get on with your life. If he does come back it was meant to be. You can't dwell on the past. Staying alone might be the problem. Try having a friend over for a while at night or going out at night. The less time you have to think about him, you will find yourself thinking about him less even when you have the time. =] Hope I helped some.

    • Thank you, it does help. I've just had a hard time the past few years since we broke up. I went through an explosive change, started dating and doing what I maybe should not have to avoid thinking of him. I feel guilty now, but I know he won't come back to me. He is so passive, and sometimes I wondered how we were even together, he never remembered birthdays, or anything; that includes plans the same day. I would love a friend to come by but we have such busy lives that no one is around for me.

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    • I'm only on day 3 and it's killing me inside. I'm trying to stay strong so I don't get in this depressed state of mind. I know what you are going through, but you have to pull out of it. I let go of all of my friends when I started dating this guy so now all I have left is my family. It is so super painful, but I'm sure you are a beautiful person inside and out and you will get through it. Try to do things you like to keep your mind off of him.

    • Thank you, I agree; I'll keep busy.

      Wish you the best.

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  • You need a new guy! Then you can think about him all of the time. Then the great part is that the new guy can break your heart if it doesn't work out, and then you'll realize that every guy you get close to breaks your heart, and that there's nothing magical about that first guy. Then you'll see that since all exes break your heart, it's not worth it to endure the pain of any of their absences, and to instead enjoy the company of a guy you do fit well with. It may not sound serious, but it works.

    • :( I don't think that helps, I got into a relationship after him and the guy was an ass, I broke up with that one too, but I was not affected by the second guy. For some reason I missed my ex even more. :S...I don't know what to do, I don't know what it is...I cannot trust guys, and I keep comparing new guys with my ex I try not too, just happens, then I am wishing he was there instead of whatever new guy I date. So frustrating :(

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