I'm not over my ex, she thinks we're friends, what do I do now?

We broke up almost 3 months ago. It was mutual but only because I went along with it. She started seeing someone else pretty soon after and I told her I was happy for her. I acted like everything was fine when in reality it wasn't. I guess I thought acting this way would make her miss me/ win her back but it's done the opposite. It sucks and I feel bad but I've at least accepted the truth she doesn't want me. I did NC for a month and she contacted me. I responded a few times and now we're acting like friends. Problem is I don't want to be as it still hurts. I'm angry at myself for not being honest to me or her about how I felt. Now I feel like if I tell her this now it'll do more harm than good. But I don't want to be friends and act like everything is fine and dandy anymore. What should I say to her to clear up this mess?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmm.. I was in this exact position about a year ago. I chose to be honest with the guy - I told him I needed to talk to him on the phone and when we did, I confessed that I wasn't okay with our breakup and I told him not to say anything and to just think about it. Well, he never got back to me and I learned about 2-3 weeks later than he'd found a different girlfriend. It really really hurt and I felt rejected (for the 2nd time) and hurt but it was worth it, because I told the truth, and in turn I received the truth as a response.

    There's nothing worse than to live your life with regret. Holding yourself back and not knowing the truth will not help you get over the problem, you need to face it head on! If you say nothing and remain friends with this girl, it'll just hurt you every single time you two talk. It's not too late to tell you how you feel. if she doesn't reciprocate, then tell her that you don't want to be friends because it's too painful. Remove her number from your phone, defriend her on facebook, and completely cut her off. If after all that, she still doesn't talk to you, then you know that she never felt strongly enough about you to keep you in her life.

    btw- my ex boyfriend I mentioned in the first paragraph just broke up with that new girlfriend a few weeks ago and now he wants me back. Now I'm over him because his behavior was such a turnoff. Funny how these things work out! You need to find out what the real deal with her is and then act accordingly.

    Good luck! :)

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    • thanks your right. I'm still pretty angry at how quickly she started seeing someone else (a guy friend who's liked her for a while). Do you think I should I bring that up or just how I feel? The whole situation has bothered me so much I feel like I want to clear my head of it all but I don't know if that would be adviseable (seeing as I'm still mad about it)?

    • I think you should bring that up also. First, tell her how you feel and then let her know that the whole situation has bothered you so much, especially since she moved on so quickly. Don't attack her or anything - be really calm and level headed - but definitely give her a piece of your mind, because you deserve to say all of the things you feel. Afterwards, you will feel a huge burden lift off of your shoulders no matter what her response is! Hopefully you'll get an answer :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • i think you should be honest... you tell her that you still feel for her and that its getting really difficult for you to be friends because you have to move on. you wish her well and lets c what she says

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What Guys Said 2

  • Dude just be honest with her regardless of the outcome. As long as you told her you will feel much better.

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  • Being stuck in the friend zone is probably the worst thing. You either need to make up your mind to be stuck in the friend zone forever or take a risk and losing her friendship.

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