I don't know what to about my ex. I need some advice..

We've both been single for 3 months now, and at first I really missed her, but that feeling started to fade after a while. Until she had the bright idea of talking to me while I'm trying to get over her. Since then, there have been 2 months of on and off lots of random contact. She doesn't believe in staying friends with ex's, yet talks to me heaps sometimes. Just the other night we had a 3 hour phone conversation about our old relationship. She apologized for things she did wrong, and not just "sorry". A long and deep apology. She's giving me major mixed signals, like saying she doesn't want to give me a second chance, then questioning me about what I would do if the two of us hooked up. I've tried everything, no contact, normal talking, even hooking up with other girls. It doesn't work. She acts like she's not over me, and that she misses me on some level, but completely denies it. What the hell do I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • why don't you tell her these very things which you have typed here and ask her directly... that will help

    tell her if she isn't interested in giving you a second chance she should at least let you get over it... and that you both could talk after the feelings subside...

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    • tried and failed. Now, she says she "seriously doesn't know" about a second chance in the future, and every time I've tried asking about me before, its been an "i dunno" time and time again. the other night was the first time she actually told me properly she wants to be friends. Its a step in the right direction, right?

    • why are you letting her decide everything... if she wants she can give you a chance...if she says you will be friends... if she doesn't you won't... man, you decide for yourself..u be clear and cut... tell her that you don't want friendship as of now because you want to move on (I thinks that's wht you want right?)...

      steel your heart and make a decision

    • lol only things I'm letting her decide are the things that are her choice, things I can't influence. And I kinda want her back :/

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I HATE how girls act sometimes. were really weird when it comes to things like this, ask her if instead of hooking up as a one time thing if you cantry something a bit farther to get her back

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    • trust me I hate it too. I plan on asking her out soon, not a date, just a meet up, and seeing what happens. Good idea?

What Guys Said 2

  • STOP communicating with her. She told you that she doesn't believe in being "friends" with exes. She put her foot in her mouth right there. I guarantee she wasn't meant to say that to you. She is trying to ease off of you slowly. She is in control and you have to break that. Since she is used to talking to you and used to you being there, she will milk you until she's done with you and she will move on. You are her emotional tampon and you are letting this happen. Move on and never go back to her. Ignore her, no calls, no texts, nothing. If she really wanted you she would be with you, period. She is playing a game that most girls like to play. Deep down most girls want to be the last girl that their ex is with. No matter what you tell her, it won't change anything so stop talking. Stop chasing her because she is enjoying that. She KNOWS she can have you anytime she wants, so to her it's too easy. No contact for a while doesn't work (especially to get a girl back), cutting all contact does work to totally move on.

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    • "emotional tampon?" Nice metaphor.

      but that doesn't explain how the amount of contact is getting more and more rather than less and less

    • It's because she is already "comfortable" around you so she doesn't have to worry about trust. The point is that you want more and she doesn't. That's why you have to cut her off asap.

    • guess you're right :/

  • Don't fall for it, man.. you're just setting yourself up for heartbreak again. But you're going to have to learn it the hard way.. it'll be better for you, but if you want to use some dirty psychological tricks to try to turn things around => link

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    • Thanks man, I think I will. I don't know how she's acting, but she should miss me like I missed her. Just to make things alittle fair

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