Why does he still communicate with an ex? Should I worry?

I pride myself as not being the jealous type. I LOVE my boyfriend. Been together 1.5 yrs. He doesn't talk to her every day as he lives 14 hours away by car and its been 4.5 years since they dated HOWEVER, they dated for 3 years and when they split he was devastated. Told me he was a mess for over a year in fact that is why he moved well away. But he goes home once in the summer and at Xmas and she always post on fb happy b-day and recently she messaged him that she new he was coming home and that maybe they can meet for coffee. I can understand as a girl her curiosity and seeing how he is, she was the one that cheated on him, broke his heart he said.. but why would he even give a shout out to her even once in a while. I don't talk to my ex. He says he hasn't seen her but why the odd message, she broke his heart? You think he'd have a hate on for her?


Most Helpful Girl

  • If they were friends first I don't think so. The boyfriend's I've had that I was friends with first I'm still friends with now, regardless of the circumstances of our break up. To me it sounds perfectly alright but don't be afraid to talk to him about it. If you're worried then you should feel comfortable enough to approach him about it. And he should be kind enough to reassure you. So my advice is try to stop worrying and just address it with him, and see what he says. Ask if you can talk to her online, if you're really not sure. But I'd say trust him. He's with you for a reason, because he cares about you. Otherwise he'd be waiting up for her. And if they've been talking and he had feelings for her he would have tried to get her back, not stayed with you. So just talk to him. That's always the best thing to do. People here can give you all the advice in the world but only he can give you the answers.

    • I know what your saying but I had a bad breakup and I could care less about my ex today. But if someone REALLY hurt you where you had to leave and suffered from depression and thought you'd spend the rest of your life together and found out they cheated on you, they want you back, you give them another chance and she goes back to that same guy/girl would you EVER want anything to do with them. I can't talk to him as I don't want him to know it bothers me cause deep down I know I shouldn't

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    • sure you tell him that you're not accusing him. That you don't think he'll cheat or leave you. You're just a bit worried. You have a right to your emotions, as sill as they may seem. And as long as you're not mean or harsh or bitchy about it, he has no right not to be civil to you. Just don't accuse him, and don't act mean about it. Not that you will, just really really think about your wording and really focus on your tone, inflection.

    • Ur right, I know your right. And he has told me in the past he is totally over her and last summer I asked him if he saw his ex and he said they text each other she asked to see him over coffee but he it would be too weird and uncomfortable. But he commented on a photo of her on fb not that long ago so he obviously checks her fb time to time to see what she is up to. I just find it odd and weird. But when the time is right I will nonchalantly talk to him. Thanks for the advice

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  • Well are they messaging back and forth a lot? like IMing or texting? if so then maybe you Might have something to worry about, but not definately, maybe they are just catching up...i suggest you sit down and talk to ham about it, try to come off as non judgmental and calm, just let him know you care and are just wondering and make sure he doesn't think your accusing him of anything because that will just cause conflict. And ask yourself before everything, do you really trust him with all of your heart? if you do make sure to let him know that. Good luck :)


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