I was on and off with this guy for a year and he didn't treat me so great…. Sometimes he did and other times he would act like he didn’t care and would just treat me like I was just another random chick to him. Just last month we began talking and I was hoping maybe he realized that what he had was a good thing and things might change. They didn't. I was constantly texting and trying to spend time when he never even initiated any sort of contact. Yes he would text back and always say yes when I asked to hang out but I just felt like the time and effort I was investing wasn't really being appreciated. He did mention he loved me on new years but I think actions speak louder than words. So I completely cut him off. Its been almost 2 weeks. I no longer text or call or make an effort to see him. He texted me good night and I never replied. He had a huge tournament and got first place. I never texted or called to wish him good luck. Later on that day he texted me to tell me that he had won. I just texted back congrats. I feel so horrible for being so short and cold when I know he has been working for that moment his whole college career. I have always been supportive of him and everything he does. I was always positive and upbeat got along with all his friends and family even though he never made time for mine. I just miss him like crazy and I don’t know what to do. I want to text him but I know he probably won't reply I want to talk about his competition and invite him for drinks to celebrate….What do you guys think? Advice on helping me to move on?
Most Helpful Girl
You will start to heal when you start to expect better for yourself and see him for the turkey he is. That you are still saying statements like "I feel so horrible for being so short and cold" tells me that you are holding yourself to this high standard for your treatment of a total jerk but not getting or expecting that from him.
Until you can truly feel deep down inside yourself that you deserve so much better than this self-centered *ss, you will feel badly about the break-up.
It is hard when we fall for someone who treats us badly. When a guy or girl starts a relationship by sometimes treating you poorly, sometimes good, well never expect them to wake-up and see what a great thing they have. If they thought it was so great, they would have acted differently to begin with. This guy thinks you are okay. He is not treating you like a treasured loved one. The only time I have seen someone actually recognize the error of their ways is when they started off on the right foot, but got off track later. There is some hope for that situation, but not the one you are in.
I dated a guy for some time that was very focused on himself. I cannot say he was a jerk, but he just did not treasure me and he did end up doing some hurtful things that he did recognize were hurtful. However, he also recognized that he would not be changing no matter how great he thought I was, so he broke-up with me. After 3 years of dating, including a year of living together, the pain was intense. The way I got over him was 1) cut all contact and ended a brief attempt at trying to be friends 2) truly and completely embraced how I was selling myself short by thinking I could not have a wonderful man who adored me in my life and 3) lost all interest in him because I saw him as completely sub-standard and not worthy of all the love and care I had bestowed on him. After 2 years I have finally found the man who treasures me with all his heart and that I feel the same about.
You can have great love. You can have a partner who will treat you as well as you treat him. Don't you deserve that? Expect it and you will have it.