Can People Really Change?

As much as I like to see the good in people I question whether people can really change after they've hurt you once. What do you think? When does someone deserve a second chance? And if you hypothetically give them a second chance, how can you make sure they've changed?

Example: my ex boyfriend dumped me suddenly and then started dating some other girl. While he was with her, he continued to contact me and he told me that he broke up with me because he didn't think he was good enough for me (not the excuse he gave initially). Well, a full year later, he has dumped his girlfriend and wants to hang out with me again. He claims to have changed and seems to be more self confident, committed, and less of a settler. Hypothetically, how could I tell if he really did change? is it even possible?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Less of a settler is not a good thing or the answer your looking for anyway. First I wonder why he dumped you because you're quite breathtaking. And honestly for the most part I do not think people change no I don't from my own experience. To be honest if he dumped you and immediately was dating this other girl he was probably cheating on you behind your back. And if you take him back as a boyfriend I can almost be 90 percent certain he'll dump and/or cheat on you again. I say move on honey, you are cute and there's no reason why you shouldn't b dating other guys...you're young do it while you can. Don't sweat one dude who dumped you to begin with.

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    • thank you this makes sense. My question was more hypothetical but I do agree that people don't really change and if someone doesn't treat you right the first time, they probably never will!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Damn you are hot as hell. No he won't change and even if he does, it will probably take longer than a few months to fix a problem like "not feeling good enough." Wow what an idiot! I've never heard such a lame excuse for dumping a girl!

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    • to add - please don't even hang out with the guy let alone date him again.

  • Yes, I've changed

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What Girls Said 2

  • I believe in second chances, but only after the person in question has proven it to me. If they apologize sincerely, I will let it drop but I go by the saying "forgive but never forget", meaning things won't be like before between us anymore. I won't trust that person from then on. And if they apologized and had the nerve to repeat the same mistake again, then that's the last straw. I'll distance myself from them.

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    • how would they prove it? just wondering

    • Actions speak louder than words. He would have to show me that he was truly sorry. Do things that showed just how sorry he was and how much he regretted it. That would be up to him to figure out though, he made the mistake so to earn me back again he'd have to show he was sincere.

  • A leopard never changes its spots

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