I am so devastated, I cheated on my girlfriend and what do I do?

I'm f***ing crying right now its my damn fault and I know it and the girl I cheated on her with isn't anything to me. the worse part I called her tonight and I felt nothing for her I love her but I didn't feel it and I'm so scared and so hurt and then I blew up at her and got pissed because she has confidence issues and I basically ripped her a new one. I don't know who I am anymore. I know if I tell her she will leave me and I will be even more lost. she is wonderful she's my everything id die for her how could I be so stupid, I can't handle please someone help me

Updates:
say I called her I meant my girlfriend
yeah she lives over 600 miles away, planned on seeing her again once I moved in the summer to her. I like how half of the comments so far the by total bitches. if you posted this thered be tons of nice people but since I'm a guy its 100% no doubt my fault
i asked for your help not some jaded answer crushing me even further. I asked what do I do? I don't need people like ilucartman telling me that she hopes I get what I deserve. if you feel that way then shut the hell up and kiss my ass
nope she got what she deserved, a good cheating lmao that's what the heartless girl gets, that's what every girl gets, they are liars and cheaters themselves.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You don't feel anything?... Love is not always that giddy, high, lovey-dovey, sparks flying -feeling. It comes and goes...when you truly love someone, it's not just about your feelings anymore (in the moment or not), it's not just about gifts and who didn't call last night or who ate the last cookie.. In real love, that sh*t doesn't matter..true love is compromising and making the decisions that are best for both. You might really love this girl... I don't know... Or maybe you're only having such a hard time because you're hurting someone you once thought you truly loved but then realized something else..Cheating is never OK and there is no excuse, but there is also no excuse for not telling her. The more you hold it in the worse you will feel and the less chance you having working things out.. That's if she forgives you and is willing to..but if she did, then it would be difficult to bring things back to where they should be... You have issues with yourself, that's why you cheated... Either it's a control thing, self esteem issue, ego, or you're just plain stupid, and I say stupid because if you had the perfect girl and self control then you wouldn't have done it. If you really love her, you'd tell her what you've done and let her decide if she wants to stick with a cheater...

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What Girls Said 12

  • May I just say something without you exploding and thinking I'm trying to crush you or judge you or whatever? In my opinion, you should break up with the girl. I know you don't want to hurt her or anything but to me it seems that you are confused about where you two stand, the exact amount of feelings you've got about her or how you should be feeling (Im sure she's nice so...you don't want to come accross as the "bad" person that broke her heart and made her feel horrible and insecure). You also feel bad about the cheating cause it wasn't with a person you trully liked. And you are also feeling lonely. In my view, I think you like her alot, but you are not in love with her. I think you should take time to think for yourself whether you trully want to be with this person OR if you are with her because she is nice and its "the right/clever" thing to do. Take time! And please don't say that all girls deserve to be cheated on. Just like guys don't deserve that as well! In my opinion unless you want to be with her for good you should tell her and simply break up. WHat is the point of going through the drama of telling the girl, getting her justifiably hurt and upset, going round in circles if you don't really feel that she is the one 100 per cent? She doesn't need to know unless you are serious about you two and you are planning on building a steady relationship.

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  • Unless you slipped and fell and your d*ck fell in another girls vagina you made a conscious decision to cheat. Your girlfriend probably will leave you and probably won't believe you if you tell her she's wonderful and that she's your everything because you slept with someone else. You cheated for a reason, it's not like you were sitting on the couch watching TV one minute and having sex the next, you decided to have sex with someone else. I don't feel bad for you and you do deserve what's coming to you when you tell your girlfriend, no one cheats by mistake. There's a reason you cheated, whether or not you know what that reason is is another story.

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    • your a total and royal bitch, so vindictive and you act like people don't make mistakes. get over your jaded self

    • I've never cheated on anyone. Keep on throwing a pity party for yourself if you want but no one accidentally has sex. People accidentally burn things or have car accidents, but no one accidentally has sex

  • Definitely give it a few days so when you make a decision, you would have allowed yourself enough time to think it through. Long distance relationships are really really hard (as you know) and if you guys don't see each other often it can be very difficult to have all your emotional, physical needs met. This incident could be an indication that you're not getting everything you need out of the relationship. I feel for you, but try not to beat yourself up over it. We all make mistakes, and you'll get past this.

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  • In case you're wondering, I wasn't crushing you, or I didn't mean to if I did... And the things I said to you as a guy wouldn have been the same if I were talking to a girl. I don't believe in picking sides or sexes when it comes to cheating because girls do it just as often, trust me I've seen my friends do it and spoke my mind, telling them what they needed to hear. You're not a bad person, by al means.. It was just a bad decision, but still, that doesn't mean that cheating on a significant other will not hurt, cause it always does. I just think you should tell her what's been going on and be honest and open, as hard as it will be, because honesty shows how strong you are eve when the situation is difficult. You're only human, and we all make mistakes. I wish you the best of luck... Oh yeah, girls usually cheat for emotional reasons, and guys do it just because...I find the emotional aspect of it is worse...

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  • If you think she'll likely find out anyway you should tell her because your relationship will stand a better chance if she hears it from you. I'd give it a few days though so when/if you have the conversation you have a clear head. I hope everything turns out okay.

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    • the thing is that its a long distance relationships I'm crushed that I did it and telling her would kill both of us, I don't know what to do omg I just wana die

    • why do you cheated on her, if she is your everything?

      it is just because she's out of your sight? that's why you did that,

      tell her everything and face the consequence ..

    • she lives 600 miles away

  • As long as you mean it . at first she will get mad but later on she would realize it.

    my boyfriend also cheated on me before, he told me that a week after he cheated on me.

    He feel sorry about what happened and I still forgive him and he also told me that I’m he’s everything and he loved me so much. Now were 8 years and a half months together.

    But I’m not your girlfriend and I don’t know if he will forgive you the way I did to my boyfriend.

    but I hope she will ..

    goodluck! :)

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  • Im a girl and my advice is; Don't tell her. If you are so broken about it, and regret it so much, just leave it. Why make her suffer? because if you did tell her that's what would happen.

    :)

    Sometimes things are better left unsaid, than said.

    And this is one of those things that doesn't need to be said.

    Hope everything works out for you.

    Take care.

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    • if you plan on staying with her you'll need to tell her sooner or later. if you aren't planning on staying with her, save her the hurt for god sake.

  • the longer you wait the worse you make it for yourself

    once you tell her the worst part is over, its just time to get her to forgive you

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  • how old are you guys?

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  • You shoved your c*o*c*k in another woman's c*u*n*t...grow up

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  • I say follow your heart...if the guilt is going to kill you..then tell her. Everyone makes mistakes, I don't agree with cheating but the fact that your girlfriend lives 600 miles away kind of gives you a little tiny bit of slack. Your a man & and men have needs. So with that...you could learn from this & keep it to yourself, and promise YOURSELF never to let this crap happen again. Because this is by no means okay! So Calm down...really think about what you want to do. Think about what you would want your girlfriend to do in this situation, and go from there. G'luck!

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  • I think it's best to tell her. Even if it means you guys will break up, it's the best thing to do. I hope everything works out for you

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What Guys Said 3

  • You can't hide it, so don't even think of trying to ignore the problem. You owe it to her to confess what you did. You have to face the consequences. You can cry and be sorry and go through every plea and bargain as you beg and plead for her to forgive you but you have to do the honorable thing. At the very least it will be a lesson you don't forget for the next woman you date. You know what you have to do. Prepare yourself to do it.

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  • I would never cheat on someone I care for... but that is me.

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  • Hey, I recently went through the same thing you're going through. About a week ago I cheated on my girlfriend. It was terrible. The girl I was with was totally unattractive and it didn't mean anything. I was feeling so much guilt. I told her a few days ago. She was really upset, but we're really trying hard to work things out. I told her EVERYTHING.

    You need to tell your girlfriend everything too. EVERYTHING. If she even thinks you're lying about something, that's game over. It's much easier to come clean and let her know that she still matters to you, than to hide it and have her find out.

    Oh, and just because you tell her doesn't mean she'll forgive you or things will be back to the way they were. It's gonna suck. I've been depressed and feeling suicidal the past couple days. I haven't been eating or sleeping, but at least she knows everything that happened, and most importantly she knows that I care about her and love her.

    Hopefully you can come clean with your girlfriend. I really hope things work out for you and me.

    Take care

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    • thank man, but why are you so depressed and suicidal? I know it hurts but a girl is no reason to kill yourself over. you still have her so don't be too hard on yourself

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