Should lack of trust be a deal breaker for a couple?

I was dating this guy for 2 months and the chemistry was incredible. The sex is amazing, and he’s a really sweet with me. Even his physical feature is the way I portrayed the perfect man of my dreams. He look incredibly perfect but his suspicious mind was about to kill me. Two days ago, he came to my place to surprise me, and at this time my cousin ( that he never meet), was having a dinner with me. When he saw him he immediately changed, he became rude and disrespectful, and the fact that my cousin and i doesn’t share the same family name ( our mothers are sisters) made him more suspicious. I was swearing that this guy was my cousin but he didn’t wanted to believe me and even my cousin was trying to convince him, but he didn’t calmed down, and the conversation went to a point that a nerd in my brain exploded and my nose started to bleed, then I collapsed on the floor. That’s then when he understood that he made a mistake, and even my cousin called him a crazy freak, and I had to admit that he was right on this point. I was crying and screaming by telling him that I wasn’t cheating but he didn’t believed me anymore. Right now he is calling every 20 minutes and ask me to forgive him and he even cried by insulting himself when I woke up from the trauma but I don’t know if I can forgive how he hurted me and humiliated me. At first I thought that his jealousy and possessiveness was really cute, but I am starting to be affraid because of this Should lack of trust be a deal breaker for a couple?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • To be honest he was very extreme and this is not expected from someone who is mature enough for a relationship. I mean I accept that he is apologetic and sorry and he should be but his behaviour is something that will remain the same I mean if tomorrow again he sees you with some other cousin then he will repeat the same and if he continues like this I think it will become damm difficult for this relationship to survive.

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  • A NERD in your brain exploded? That must have been incredibly painful!

    If you don't have trust, you don't have a future relationship.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • That’s a flaming red flag.
    A little jealousy is cute, but this? No, I had guy I dated get mad because I was with my brother once. Different last names. Same dad. Needless to say I completely ignored his little fit. 😂
    When he was done acting stupid I explained. He felt incredibly dumb.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • yes you can, work it out... practice gratefulness, forgiveness, rebuild. Very deep strong emotionsl chords struck... he was hurt, that's good. Need to work through it.
    Reassure each other not to cheat, and you don't do that. Communication!

    don't make any babies yet, you are not ready...

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  • Yes you need to dump that guy considering he didn't believe you and came off as a pyscho freak. Question did He just walk into your place or did He knock first? Eather or he has no right flipping out , it's people like him that shouldn't get into relationships considering he has no clue what a relationship is

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  • I think it needs to be... the piece of advice I always hear from people who have been married for 40+ years is that the only 2 things you need to make a marriage work long term is trust and respect. If my girlfriend basically respects me, I can trust that if she's having a male friend over for dinner without planning on screwing him in my bed.

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  • Lack of trust and controlling men would be a deal breaker for me. Are you and him even official? If not, it’s not too late to run or slowly start to distance yourself.

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  • Lack of trust will ruin a relationship, but so will doing something that could make any logical person think you are cheating too.
    Why not tell him ahead of time that your cousin was visiting?
    The way it happened, it seemed more like you were spending time with another guy one on one behind his back.

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  • You can't have a good relationship without trust. If he doesn't trust you (and you haven't given him a real reason not to) you need to end it. Especially since it seems like you have the beginning stages of an abusive relationship.

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  • We all make our mistakes...
    He may have just cut the finish line but that's up to you.
    Maybe he's just really unconfident and sensitive...
    And that's also for you to judge..
    But don't be fast and furious, think.
    And I'm really sorry for what has happened...

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  • Red flags all around. This guy has some anger and trust issues that seem pretty serious... And you said he apologised by insulting himself but thats not apologising. That's making him the victim.
    I would definitely reconsider your relationship.

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  • I trusted wife 100% and she cheated on me. she was married when I met. So I would say once a Cheat Always a cheat. New wife n single may be different outcome

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    • Oh wow, I actually had a similar experience. This girl and I had a relationship, and I had no idea she was engaged to another guy. I couldn't even believe it

  • LOL, funny story. Very entertaining. It is like an episode of Three's Company.

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    • Ps, trust is often used as one of these catch all, all encompassing words when, just like everything else, it requires balance. We should trust but we can't push trust too far and expect someone to accept every extreme situation. Trust has balance.

  • Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship

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  • 1st of all i can get you where gobsmacked but calling it traumatic is abit overeacting. And he has deffo got some issues start running.

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  • Yes that is a deal breaker? How can you build a relationship of you don’t trust your partner. He complety overreacted and he shows Red Flags

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  • Trust is one of the most important elements of a relationship so a lack of it will certainly sink your relationship in the future if not already.

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  • I would never tolerate that, he clearly has problems.

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  • Yes. Lack of trust is the weakest link in the chain in my experience

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  • Yes it is. If it is not killing things now, it will in the future.

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  • 100% without trust in a relationship I don't think it would last

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  • That's definitely a little scary. I'd be careful

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  • yeah

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  • Big time

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  • Yep
    xx
    ~ Mrs Manson

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  • yes it is

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