He never is the first one to text me. He never really initiates anything. He's been very busy with work lately but he goes home early enough that he can text me a few lines...he never does. I'm always the one to say, let's go here or let's do that. I was sick for a week and he never texted once. After that I figured he just didn't care so I sent him a text telling him that unless he sent me some kind of signal that he still cared, then we were over. He sent me a text explaining how busy he's been and how he gets drunk at night and doesn't want to say anything that would hurt me while he's drunk. He also apologized. We went out to lunch the next day and afterward we just sat and his car, talked, listened to music. I started kissing him and when I got a little too intense he said " I don't do public." OK. He had things to do so I left. He just turned 21 and he posted on his fb about how he can't wait to go to bars and test his age limit since he hasn't had time yet. OK. Then he added: and to see what girls I can find there! Ouch. I know he was kidding but for a guy who hasn't even made us official on his fb page yet, it makes me wonder. I don't know what's up anymore. Maybe I'm just over analyzing. He promised me he would never do anything to hurt me but when he posts things like that and doesn't take the initiative with anything I have a hard time knowing what to think. Guys can you decode this behavior for me?
We've been dating for a month. is the way he's acting normal?
What Guys Said 1
Is he behaving normally? Only if you consider it normal to be messed up every night.
He drinks to drunkenness routinely? That's a lot of drinking.
You are wasting your time with an alcoholic.
Whatever his problems are, it's not your fault, not your responsibility to fix it or decode it.
If he were simply busy, he'd initiate contact and work around his schedule. He'd say things like, I'm sorry that Thursday is my only free night, but let's do x, y or z that evening."
Cut your loses. Move on to a guy who doesn't have a drinking problem.
What Girls Said 1
I think you need to move on, and quickly. It sounds like the guy does not make you his priority and does not take your feelings and emotions seriously. The fact that he has made little to no effort to make you happy, even after explaining your wishes of him to call/text, then he clearly takes no interest in making you happy. The biggest red flag, however, has been the fact that he has mentioned drinking and meeting girls on a public website- facebook- that he knows you will see. This is clearly a signal that he does not take you seriously and may never take your relationship to the next level. Also, the fact that he left after you explained to him that you don't do things publicly is a clear indication that he is into you for the wrong reasons.
I'd say move on. Don't mention to him why or really anything at all. He has taken drinking over you and has said how his "busy" life has kept him from making any effort. Therefore, your "busy" life should keep you from contacting him as well.
As busy as someone gets, no one is too busy to send a quick text or call just to show they are thinking of you. Move on sweetheart, there are plenty of MEN out there who would be more than willing to make you their priority. Good luck!1
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