Can you be friends with an ex?

I have this problem and it’s more of an emotional problem. My boyfriend and I have been happily dating for almost a year. During that time my ex has been talking to me a lot and begging for me back because he hasn’t given up on me. He doesn’t do it every day but at least a couple times a month. The trouble I'm having is that I still have feelings for my ex. I love my boyfriend but still have small feelings for my ex. I want to talk to my ex a lot and always have the urge to. Every time I want to have a nice conversation with my ex he ruins it by saying he still loves me and asks if I will take him back. I say no but he still wants me to call him to talk and he says that he’s there for me. So I don’t call my ex or ever say I love him back but I still want to talk to him no matter what he says. I know in my heart that I won’t ever go back together with him because of the person he is. My boyfriend is the best person to me. He’s smart, cares, treats me awesome, and I'm so happy when I'm with him. I guess my question is how I can have a good relationship with my boyfriend if I still want to talk to my ex? Sure I don’t love my ex but I want him in my life and he will never want to just be friends. I can’t stop saying hi to my ex online I just get the urge to see how he’s doing because I care about him like a friend. Just because he wasn’t a good boyfriend to me doesn’t mean he’s not a good friend and I love to hear his voice because I have good memories of him. Should I tell my ex how I'm feeling?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm friends with a few of my ex's, and it hasn't been a problem, some of them are my best friends, I even introduce them to my girlfriend, and it works just fine.

    I'll give you an example:

    I had sort of a get together at my house last weekend, I live near Baltimore, so our Ravens were still in the playoffs then, which is why I had people over my house, I invited 3 of my ex girlfriends, when my current girlfriend showed up, she got along with all my ex's great! At first I was confused, but then I figured it out, I only have one type, so all the women I date are alike, which is why they got along, because they had so much in common. I love women that are jokesters, especially my one ex Zoe, when she met my current girl her opening line was, "So, this is the one that gives better head than me huh?" We all got a laugh out of it, I might be in a different spot than you are because I still have feelings for all the Ex's I keep in touch with, but my girlfriend knows that, and she's cool with it.

    In Closing:

    Stay with the man you're happy with, but let him know that you are going to keep in contact with your ex, if he's cool with that, then tell your ex that you have no interest in getting back together, but you will keep in touch with him.

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What Guys Said 2

  • No, and HELL NO. The only way if that's possible is if both people no long have feelings for each other, otherwise it will be heartache, trouble, confusion and emotional suicide. Think about this. There are people in your life that are just in the picture, then there are your FRIENDS. Friends go out together, have fun, take care of EACH OTHER, and try to hook each other up with people. Most of the time if someone still has feelings for the other, the "friendship" is onesided. One person will get all the benefits and the other will get none. Then there is the situation that will make a person crazy, and that is the one without feelings moves on while the one with feelings sits and watches and has all the hope in the world of their ex coming back someday. Some guys except the friend zone or become the emotional tampon to linger around and to plan to get the ex back, which never works. Do you tell your new person about your ex and introduce them to each other? Do you string your ex along? How will you be "friends" then? Will you explain to your curent boyfriend that you are going to hang out with your ex? How would you feel if your boyfriend wants to hang around his ex, talk to his ex, and keeps from you that he still feels something for his ex? Put the shoe on the other foot. Do you tell your ex you can't talk to him or see him anymore? What kind of "friendship" is that? You are selfish to want to have your ex in your life KNOWING that he wants more, stringing him along, giving him false hope instead of just telling him you can't be with him, then there is your current boyfriend. There are MANY girls that do this and wonder why guys have girls on the side. So the only way a friendship can be possible is if there is NO feelings involved. Otherwise you are just looking for trouble, drama, and you don't respect your boyfriend or your current relationship. It's called moving on for a reason.

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  • To be honest no...friends with exs is a bad thing unless there is children involved in which case its helps.Or you to where completely incompatible and never made it very far in dating.but that doesn't seem to be the case...To be honest its pretty unfair to your current bofriend what your doing so pick one or the other because for the most part it will backfire and you won't get to choice ... itll be made for you.

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