What do you do when your ex tries to ruin your life, when ignoring her doesn't work?!

OK, so really bad breakup that didn't have to be. It started as a break because she was being controlling, jealous, clingy.

Turned into her hating me with a passion, hooking up with a bunch of my friends, getting into drugs and spreading rumors about me and finding any other girls that might like me and sh*t talking me to them. I didn't cheat on her or anything, I treated her great! I only called the break from the hope it would give her some time to relax and realize she missed me and to not get so jealous because nothing else worked! Now she's trying to turn everyone I know against me, and I tried talking to her twice after all this started to come to some kinda peace and she threatened to charge me with harassment and that I was obsessed with her? WTF! We were friends for 2 years, dated 8 months, I contact her 3 times in the three months since we split to try and come to some kinda peace and all she does is snap? Last time I tried was a month ago, and from what I've heard she's still on her rampage. What do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • That is a large mess but it can be toned down. I faced a similar situation with my ex two years ago but she has reached homeostasis with her self and we are now at peace. The first thing is from your third sentence "I only called the break from the hope it would give her some time to relax and realize she missed me and to not get so jealous because nothing else worked!" Okay, no attack to you dude but teaching a girl to miss you is not a very wise thing to do if she was already "controlling, jealous [and] clingy." This has caused her to think you did not care about her feelings whatsoever; however, you showed her you cared which is a massive contradiction.

    Two, she threatened you because you were trying to come to some kind of peace and you played into her psychological tactic of getting you, suffice to say, "wild up" which seemed to have worked and now she has the upper hand.

    My advice for this is you should break all contacts with friends who believe her and your ex of course. Whatever you do, do not play the "I got a new girlfriend card" because this will backfire on you so badly. Tell her you still "like her" when the right time comes and you will know when this is. Get some time away from all of this and never, I repeat 'never,' tell her that you want to put some reconciliation behind all this. Good luck dude. If you need some more advice, send me a message because I will be glad to help a fellow dude facing a similar problem I did two years ago.

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    • Yea I totally agree. In hindsight it was a dumbass idea, but I had just had enough. I needed the break. I had a slight hope she would realize "Hey I'm acting nuts". I knew it wasn't likely...but I hoped.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Haha... I was once that girl (but not as bad, I never spread rumours or got into drugs and stuff). From my experience I can assume that she's doing this because she still loves you.

    Obviously don't go back to her, she's shown herself to be very immature and needs to grow up. But, with time she'll get over it an move onto someone else. You might never be friends again but she'll stop making life difficult for you. You'll just have to sit it out :)

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    • Lol. Well this sounds like...fun? I guess I should go on vacation...

What Guys Said 3

  • This is what you call OBSESSIVE. It won't get any better, unless you leave and go some where else, or find an new group of friends. Or, a restraining order. Unfortunately you got the bad one. Try and lay low for a bit longer, then, you get a restraining order if this doesn't work. This can get very serious. very.

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    • Are you speaking from experience?

    • Im speaking from experience from my bestfriends ex. Its not something you want, or want to deal with. Cause it could turn around on you. all you gotta do is be careful. and consider a restraining order...once you apply for one, an investigation will start with her, and your friends and anything that gives evidence that you need one against her. The courts will talk to her, and that might scare her off. Just be careful, and act fast if its necessary .

  • Restraining order.

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  • Cool, that's good you knew it was a bad idea. You'll be far ahead of things now. Good luck dude.

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