Why won't my ex leave me alone and keep asking how i'm doing?

He dumped me and he keeps asking my friend how i'm doing and he had previously told her that were done. Please help, I feel like my friend talks smack behind my back to him. I can't block her because I feel she will say more bad things.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • He doesn’t care don’t listen to others. He’s a narcissistic personality type. He’s showing it and you know what?
    It’s a real thing. Read literature on NBPD, NPD types.

    He’s triangulating you. There was another example as such I read a week or so ago and it was just as you described yours here.

    They keep you to compare notes and keep tabs so you cannot “get better than him” your dumper.
    If you do, they enter the picture and will give you a future of heartaches.

    Cut your friends cut your ex and cut all your losses. Yes like drugs Go cold turkey to preserve yourself !!!
    Immediately and swiftly. If it be rude let it ! You are definitely more powerful on your own.
    Taper it off gradually but definitely loose all your common friends.

    Start anew you will be blissful and peaceful. You may flourish but lose the gangrenous appendages ASAP!!

    I do that always. Never fails might hurt like they say it’s painful to rip a bandage off at speed. This too is a symbolic reflection.

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  • If you know she doing that then don’t tell her stuff. There’s certain people in my life who I tell everything to and then there’s some people who don’t get to hear it at all or they only get half the story. I think the best thing to do is end the friendship and block both of them. Why would you want to be friends with someone you know you can’t trust? Who cares if she says more bad thing? You won’t be able to see or hear it because she will be blocked and you will have been unfollowed her by then. She doesn’t pay your bills and she can’t whip your butt so blocking her will have zero serious consequences in your life.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Unfortunately it's a ego thing. Be mean if you must, clear and direct... Stay out my life, bye!!!

    When someone ends a relationship under those
    circumstances, a lot of the
    times, they still want to be
    relevant and that sole male
    or female figure in your life.

    It boost their ego's.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

127
  • Don't be afraid first of all.

    Break off ties with both them, they're no good in my view. As for your ex, make it clear you're happily single and don't want his sorry ass back. Cut him off everywhere including social site, if he's any shame left - he'd step back.

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  • It sounds like although he broke up with you he still cares about you and wants to see how you’re doing, he might even regret the decision but I guess it’s too late for him to make up to you. Your friend being involved in between sounds like interfering but there’s not much you can do there I think 🤔

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  • He wants to hear how miserable you are but he does not want to hear it directly from you because he does not have the guts to come to you face to face.

    Exes love to hear that the person they broke it off with is feeling worse than they are.

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  • Don't worry about them. Surround yourself with positive people and the things you love and forget about those that talk behind your back and do you wrong

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  • I had a situation where my "friend" was hitting on my ex so he'd bring me up and ask about me as a way of putting her in her place and keeping her from getting too chumming. Like hey remember my ex? Your friend?

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  • I would have shut it down like, yesterday if I were you. You're too grown to be dealing with some mess like that. Get a new friend and boyfriend and let them talk all they want.

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  • Friends only want what you have. some friend. never discuss private feelings with so called friends. talk to mum she is your best friend or gran they have been through lots same as you with good opinion of life

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  • Depending on how king you’ve been together, it could be because of the soul tie. Block him. As for your friend, do you have evidence that she is talking badly behind your back? If you don’t, than don’t be quick to assume things

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  • Maybe he just cares about you still and wants to know how you are? I wouldn't let your friends get involved and I would ignore what they say. If he contacts you and you don't want him too, block him.

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  • Lose both & find another game playing backstabbers con artists are everywhere escape the nosie idiots

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  • Dont care what bad things she may say. Just block her and that guy. Negative people need to get away from you. I mean it!

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  • Block BOTH of them. Better to be shit talked, then to be dragged down by toxic people.

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  • Because he really, really, REALLY wants a restraining order on his ass.

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  • To see if you've moved on or not. And that's not a friend. Cut them both loose.

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  • Respectfully ask her if she says anything rude about you behind your back. Remember, you don’t know for sure if she does, so storming up to her might unecessarily ruin your friendship. If she's being vague about it, let her know that you feel like you can’t trust her when she won’t tell you what she tells your ex about you. When you find out what she tells him, then you know if she is a friend to keep, a friend to get rid of, or if she apologizes immediately-a friend to be wary of.

    As for your ex, assuming you don’t want to still be friends with him, walk up to him, look him in the eyes, and confidently tell him to please stop talking about you, or at least talking/asking your friend (s) about you. But again, don’t be overly harsh until you see his reaction, he (might) have an explanation. I hope this helps, but fyi im 13 so don’t take it too seriously lol

    Good luck

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  • Block both of them

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  • Because you keep allowing it that's why.

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  • He wants to shove his skewer in your shish kebab

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  • Id she does say bad things about you especially behind your back then she isn't a friend and you don't need someone like her in your life

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