Do you believe you can stay friends with a ex?

Do you believe you can stay friends with a previous partner? If so explain why you believe you can or can't.
I believe you can if it didn't end or having any toxic issues such as cheating or any form of abuse. If you simply ended it because feelings faded or something else, but still have a friendly vibe, I don't see why not.
Maybe some of you believe you can't because there will always be some type of feeling involved.
But what defines friendship when it comes to exes? Actually still talking and meeting up like any other friends you have? Hanging out once a year if that? Or is the ''lets be friends'' just a way of just saying ''you can come for help if ever needed because I have love for you but we will not be talking or hanging out?
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
  • Depends
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Like you said, it really depends. My last relationship ended in cheating, and him leaving me for her (I didn't find out there was another girl involved til after we broke up). I just assumed he was breaking it off because we were leading dif lives at that point. When I came back home we hung out kinda like normal (not as frequent nor was there romance), but we were best friends in our relationship so it surprised me that even though he hurt me, that rapport was still there and it was still so easy to click with him. It felt good to be friends because it felt normal and familiar. But, it wasn't healthy. And when I put the pieces together that he cheated on me, I became very upset and blocked him on everything, and I make efforts to avoid him irl. Now seeing him and even thinking of him repulses me. I couldn't ever be his friend again, even though we clicked so well, he still hurt me so I couldn't do it.

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    • That's such a long post, wow.
      My bottom line is you can only be truly friends if it was a mutual breakup. In any other case, the "hurter" is fine being friends but the "hurtee" will still be hurting and wishing for more. Not to mention the friendship will hinder the process of moving on.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I suppose "can" is doable. I could stay friends... I just don't want to. Once we break up I'd rather just move on and not really interact with that person. Maybe an occasional "hi, how have you been" if I run into them but I won't be trying to contact them anymore and don't really want them trying to contact me regularly. Dating is a special/unique kind of relationship and once it is over I no longer need contact with that person. I hang out with my guy friends and I date new ladies I don't really need or want to be "pals" with an ex girlfriend.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Yes ONLY if both parties have moved on and are over each other... Depends also how the relationship was and how it ended. However, I cannot be friends with someone who cheated on me.

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  • I know I can because i've done it. But yeah, it depends on how the break up went.

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  • I personally wouldn't want the constant reminder but my relationship was different to everyone elses
    I think you know it already OP you just said it, if they were faithful and kind but just not right for you then whats the harm in being friends with that warm person?
    Its the ice queen i never want to see again

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  • I’ve never really thought about it to be honest, I’ve stayed in touch with two exes but not as close friends just coffee and a catch up once in a blue moon, I’ve never kept an ex as a permanent and important member of my friendship group or considered them in my future in any way, I see them more as relationships that haven’t worked for one reason or other and life lessons, more a memory than a permanence. But that’s just me 🙂

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  • Yeah, but I can tell you that it is very unlikely. Only one ex of mine had remained friends with me and that was because we both agreed to break up as it wasn't working out for us. We were pretty mature about it so we could think logically about our situation at the time.

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  • I am friends with my ex wife, we were both young when we got married, and have two older children together, 20 and 17. I am no longer sexually attracted to her, but I will protect her and if some guy starts bothering her she usually calls me. I spent Christmas eve at her house, I cooked for her and our kids, and she had another ex husband of hers there along with her friend to eat. Yes it can be done, but the circumstances have to be right.

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  • It really depends how you broke up. You absolutely can and I am with mine but our breakup was clean and mutual. So yes but it's not always healthy to if you or the other person still has strong feelings for one another

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  • As much possible, breaking up in good terms is optimal. Out of all the men I've had exclusive relationships with, only one of them isn't in speaking terms with my anymore.

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  • Yes I can, I have, but it gets messy as the strings attach and the next person comes along... it can cause problems.

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  • I mean... I’ve never been in a relationship before, but... I do as long as their are boundaries. Like, no talking every single day or a lot, no hanging out late at night, and no spending time too much not a lot

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  • you can. i have. but there are ex's that is probably impossible that you remain friends.

    all depends on the basis of the relationship and especially how things end

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  • It is possible but I find it a lot easier with exes I wasn't with for long. The longer the realtionship the harder it is to move on. It also depends on why you broke up. How can you be friends with someone that cheated on you for one example.

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  • I've know people who were very good friends with their ex, for a long period of time. But I don't think that works for most people.

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  • yes im friends with all my exes why hate each other after all said and done be a grown up accept be friendly they where a friend before they where a partner

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  • Kind of... My ex and I have been friends on and off for the past two years since we broke up.. There’s no bad blood between him and I now... but at first we had a difficult time not trying to call each other.. He was the one usually trying to get to me..
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    I’m in a new relationship now, and I don’t see the need to keep talking to my ex. He’s not someone that’s high priority in my life. I love the guy I’m with now. He’s amazing and he gives me more than what my last boyfriend gave to me... And I’m not throwing my relationship that I have now away because of him or because of any dude from my past. My boyfriend wouldn’t like it if I were talking to my ex or any dude I hooked up with now.. 😂

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  • Yes, it's already worked for me. We weren't together for long (about three months) and the relationship wasn't really a succes except for the first month. I ended things, and then asked to just act normal around each other and try to be friends, because we were in the same friend group. it was super awkward for a few months after that (the 'acting normal' thing didn't work), but then it naturally passed and now no one would be able to tell that we're exes. We're not very close, but in the same friend group still and always polite, friendly and helpful for eachother. I didn't like to be in a relationship with him, but he's a good person and fun to be around, so I'm happy that we succeeded in being friends again.
    Neither of us have any interest in getting back together (as I said, the relationship was pretty shit), so that's not an issue.

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  • I love my ex too much to just be friends. To me if it’s over it’s over simple as that. But if they want you back then it’s worth a try to get back together again but not just friends as to waste time.

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  • Are you really that desperate for friends to keep a suspicious one? While you can have 20 other friends with nothing weird?

    If you are, then you need help

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  • Absolutely not. Men and women ARE NOT FRIENDS. PERIOD. The sooner women, and beta males, accept this, the sooner we can get back to the natural order of things.

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  • Yes, I do believe that you can stay just friends after your Ex , especially when children are involved. Now more than ever children need both parents Involved

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  • Why don't people think that you can't? I guess it depends on the breakup.

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  • Absolutely if the relationship ended on good terms, I’m still close friends with my ex because we agreed to break up

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  • I don't think so. If you can be just friends, it's because you never really loved the person.

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    • I really agree. It's a sad truth, but the truth is meant to hurt.

    • Show All
    • @Ponycargirl12 Your mom is right! It takes a wise person to learn from other people's mistakes.

    • Thank you. I learned from my owm mistakes moreso than anyone else's. I just paid a small price for it and only came out of it with a broken heart.

  • Yes, it's possible. Just rare. It takes both individuals being pretty unique individuals.

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  • Nope. Both my exes would have sex with me if I offered.

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  • It's only 4 of my exes I don't talk to, the rest is a friend of some sort, one of my best friends are an ex of mine.

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  • It depends on how we broke up. If she betrayed me, no. Otherwise, probably.

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  • What kind of friendship would that be if betrayed the other at dome point

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  • If she pays me alimony and not vice versa ffs.

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  • I don't think so.

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  • How good and frequent is sex with that ex?

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  • No it doesn't work

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  • I can't be frnds

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  • Depending on break up circumstances

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  • Depends on the reason on we broke up.

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  • Two of my exes ended on amicable terms. I think if they are mature and decent human beings then it’s definitely possible. The only ones I haven’t remained friends with are the one that cheated and others who were manipulative. They can go and swivel as far as I’m concerned. But as I I said, the two who were decent I still care for in a friendly way.

    However, if you loved them, I don’t believe a friendship is workable straight after a break up, I think some time out to deal with raw feelings is required first, but after that friendship is certainly a possible and preferable outcome.

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  • All my exes treated me like shit when they lost interest.

    There was one I missed immensely. I really thought her and I would keep a respectful connection. But my gut is telling me she cheated a week or two before we broke up (she broke up with me). I never got it confirmed but I have a feeling she knows I was suspicious. She even went as far as asking me to sell her a comic con ticket that she originally gave to me as a gift for a “friend” (she referred to her friend as a woman but I think she was lying. She wanted to give it to the new guy she was seeing). I think she exaggerated all my negative characteristics to make her feel better about her bullshit.

    This is the same girl who went off for a entire year about how I was her soulmate and how in love she was.

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  • ha no ima kill her

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