Should I just leave it?

I've known this guy for a few years. We used to go to university together, and now I'm still in school, and he's not. There's been on-and-off sexual tension between us, including some flirting on his part, but we never went out. One factor was that I was shy about it, given that a) I'm shy generally, b) I felt I wasn't "cool enough" (I'm not a partier), and c) he flirts with a lot of girls, so I wasn't sure how much he liked me. There were two periods of a few months at a time where he seemed to be pursuing me- he would flirt via MSN, etc., and invited me to the odd thing, but it was always with a bunch of his friends. I was always friendly when we talked, but never took him up on an invite, partly due to timing and partly because I was unsure about meeting up with his friends, whom I don't know. Toward the end of the last period, I sensed he was getting bored with me when I talked to him, and we had one convo in which it sounded like he was interested in another girl- that last one made me give up.

After not talking for a few months, he messaged me on MSN about three weeks ago. We had a perfectly casual conversation for a bit, and then he asked me, out of the blue, if I disliked him. After I told him that that wasn't the case, he said he'd been trying to figure that out for years, and that although I hadn't done anything to suggest that that was the case, he had been wondering, since he had generally been the one to initiate conversations, meet-ups. etc. I told him, in a joking tone, that I had often gotten the feeling that I bored him, and he replied that I was one of the most entertaining people he'd ever talked to (witty, intelligent, etc.), and called me a "cutie". I felt kind of awkward and shocked, because I hadn't expected this at all, and I still had my guard up after thinking for a long time that he wasn't interested in me, so I was polite, but didn't express that I was interested in him. Another factor was that he claimed that he'd recently had someone had questioned his personality and wondered how he came off to people, so I wasn't sure whether he cared about me or whether it was just to gauge what others thought about him.

I hadn't talked to him since, partly because I felt awkward and partly because I was busy- I've rarely been on MSN since then, and when I have been, I've been set to Busy. I finally messaged him the other day with a comment about his MSN personal message. He didn't reply; he remained as Available for about 25 min, and then went to Busy for a long time. I was online again today, and didn't message him because I didn't want to look desperate. He didn't message me to apologize for not replying the other day. Now I don't know if he was ignoring me or he didn't see the msg, etc. Also, he deactivated his fb account a few weeks ago - I checked on another account; he didn't block me. I don't know whether to let things go (maybe he's mad that I waited so long to follow up) or try again- I don't want to be a stalker.Thoughts?

Updates:
(er sorry, I don't know how this got into the Sexuality category...)
(mods, if you can change the category, feel free.)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • sadly...i somewhat agree with the blow him comment. I wouldn't be too bold but from here, you two are perfect for each other! you both appear shy and have blundered this thing all up mutually. if you two werent into each other, this wouldn't have gone on for all this time. yea you are shy, break the mold! get over there and give him the shock and awe, no its not your character but deep down you want to! it would be the last thing he would expect and I suspect he would lose it before it got going lol! after...you would not have this feeling you are having now, you will kno that you tried! I'm willing to bet if you did, it would go from this grade school crush thing...to an all out sexy kind of love! if not this...quit being shy, spit it out and be done with it! good luck!

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What Guys Said 1

  • i think you should just go to his house and blow him that's the best feeling in the world and makes sense to do

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What Girls Said 1

  • let it go. it's usually a really bad idea to contact someone a second time after being ignored the first attempt. if he really cares, he knows where to reach you.

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