Why does my ex like hurting me?

I was with my ex for two years. At this time we were really serious. However, he broke up with me about half a year ago. And now he is extremely hot and cold towards me. Whenever he hurts me, for example, when he hooked up with someone in front of my face he laughed at me or when I would bring up something serious he would laugh in my face. But then when were alone or on certain occasions he says he still says he loves me and cares a lot about me. I don't understand why he acts the way he does. It's so hurtful and heartbreaking, because I don't know how to deal with it. It makes me feel even worse and it makes me miss my best friend, who cared and who would have never done this.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It really depends on why you broke up in the first place...my ex loves hurting me because I broke up with him, because he treated me like dirt, even though I still love him. When he tells you all the nice stuff be wary of what his motives are...sex? Maybe he still loves you and wants to push you to admitting you still feel it first. Maybe it makes him feel powerful to hurt you and know he still has it over you. At the end of the day love is not pain. And if he wants to hurt you intentionally he is an immature insensitive guy that has some growing up to do. Don't retaliate, just ignore him. The best thing to do is NO CONTACT. If he is serious about the way he feels in private let him come back with a grand gesture or nothing at all. It is amazing how a bit of the dissappearing act can make a man wake up to himself. And if he doesn't, than it is definately HIS LOSS. Sometimes you never really know someone until you break up with them. He sounds confused...bide your time and concetrate on yourself. Before you know it he'll be a distant memory if you allow yourself to heal and actually want to find someone better. HIs behavior is just proof that by breaking up with you he did you a favour. If he can laugh in your face now about seriou stuff, imgine what he'd be like when you're getting a divorce later in life and you tell him the kids need money for stuff...HA HA HA is that going to be funny for him too. Some men like to punish you for the mistakes they made. People are strange. Good luck in making the next 3.5 years the best of your life and much better than the 3.5 you've spent with him on your mind xoxo

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    • would NC work if I see him once or twice a week when were out (we go to the same college and same places). Or does that go against NC?

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What Guys Said 2

  • I would say he broke up with you because you must done something he absolutely can't stand. And he must of hates so much that he is treating you like garbage. As if it sounds like he can't get enough revenge by laughing at you etc. and he says he loves you cares for you, it's a lie he is just trying to play with your emotions and confuse you which all part of his revenge thing for whatever hurt him assuming you might have done something (maybe you didn't realize it) wasn't enough for him to get back at you with

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    • I really didn't do anything to him. He broke up with me because he wanted his freedom and the usual guy stuff. So I am just really confused why he acts like he hates me so much, because in the end I honestly did nothing.

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    • So what is the best way to react to him? Because I see him once or twice a week at least when were out and he always comes up to me to say hi, yet also says he does not want to be in same room as me...

    • i wouldn't do anything, if you treats you horribly ignore him, he's just being a jerk and is trying to frig around with your mind and confuse you about things.

  • One thing to remeber is hurt people hurt people..and he might no be doing it on purpose but when you are hurt sometimes you do things out of anger..you might not even be the cause but try to find out what's going on

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What Girls Said 2

  • y do you care about such a person... you will ridicule you nd treat you like sh*t... please think bout it nd you will get an answer yourself. I would never treat a person like this if I care about him... its the same case with anyone... so leave the psycho...

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  • Its tough but if he doesn't want to ...f---him! Have fun, and be happy or do things that make you happy. Big hug and BE HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!

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