Cheating while drunk?

If you have been dating a person for over a year, and really feel like your in love with them, but they cheat on you... They were so drunk that they could barely walk, and don't remember most of the night. They swear they did not cheat on you, but how can you know for sure? Maybe not this time, but what about next time? Should you be mad at them, be done with them, or just get over it since they were totally intoxicated?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i think you should check and see if his d*** smells

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    • well, I tasted it, and smelled it.. and nothing was out of the usual... I don't think he did this time..

What Guys Said 10

  • cheating is cheating. don't blame the alcohol/drugs involved. I'd walk on someone who did me like that.

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  • They chose to drink right? They chose to be in the area where they could cheat right? They cheated. Who cares if they were drunk. That's like saying someone who kills someone drunk isn't responsible.

    No, he's definitely responsible and he doesn't deserve to be with you. After all, Alcohol lower our inhibitions meaning he'd have no problem to cheat with a bit lower inhibitions meaning he didn't really care about you. Dump him (if this isn't hypothetical). Or, if you were the one who were so drunk, break up with the guy and ya.. hah. But it sounds like you're the one who got cheated on :\

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  • Cheating usually isn't an isolated incident. It'll be a recurring issue, especially when alcohol is involved. It's best to be done and move on. Find someone who wants to be only with you and who won't go after others just because you're not around.

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    • what if he hasn't yet, I just get worried he may when he gets so drunk he doesn't remeber his night...

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    • just the fact that he woke up in bed with one of his good friends (female).. I trust him cus he said his pants were on and his d*** didn't stink.. I just don't want him to do it one time when he's so drunk.. he said he wld tell me if he did, but I still just don't want him to..

    • I say be with someone you trust. You clearly don't or you wouldn't be here.

  • Reality about being drunk, you don't "lose control" , you just have bad judgment. I don't even see how that is a valid excuse to cheat. If you even believe you would under its influence, why take the risk? is the risk worth it? This leads to questioning whether they are trust worthy due to poor decision making. Could they raise a family and be there if they're doing this sh*t?

    Just some ideas that come to mind. As relationships usually only have that goal of a family.Unless its a "fling" .

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  • You can't use being drunk as an excuse to cheat. I would dump a woman immediately if she cheated on me while being drunk or not. If I even had a strong sense that she might be cheating I would probably dump her.

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  • That's like saying a person isn't responsible for drunk driving because they were too drunk to know. Sorry, in the real world people are held accountable.

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  • Cheating is never acceptable and alcohol is never an excuse.

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  • Yes its your fault... maybe you shouldn't be 1. drinking 2. partying hard

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  • Drink is not excuse it just makes you more likely todo things that are o your mind

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  • Don't sweat it baby girl. If he was that trashed he probably had a misty softy anyway. Was he trying to get anal from her too?

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What Girls Said 3

  • I have experience,sadly.

    Firstly,I would really seriously honestly go to my local police department or free clinic and pick up a brochure or two about alcoholism and STIs 0r STDs.

    I would leave them somewhere inconspicuous where the person would definitely get them or even just hand them to the person and tell them to call if they what to talk and just leave it at that.



    I wouldn't even talk about it in that moment, just leave the person with the information and any brief responses to anything they may say and just leave them to think.

    Again, tell them to call you if they want to talk. Then maybe call them the next morning or that night to ask if they're okay and that you want them to be safe, maybe even that you are scared - but not FOR them because that sounds false and condescending.

    When you are honest about being scared for yourself because you don't want to lose YOUR friend ,knowing that you claim ownership really helps them hear it : Someone with dangerous behavior has become detached and has stopped claiming their ownership of themselves.

    They are also in an exacerbated state where they may feel no one notices or cares what happens to them.

    As Russell Brand has very thoroughly and wittily revealed, addiction comes in all forms as a type of personality usually chemically inescapable and so must be acknowledged and controlled.

    We need to stop accepting it as a commonality. We need to treat it.

    I am not alcoholic but I have had medication thrown at me instead of behavior modification and it has made things worse.

    I have had addicts in my familial, personal and professional lives.

    Alcoholism is a big part of our accepted society .

    Currently, more and more people of all ages are being medicated out of sanity,because we are being chemically numbed to outside reality as well as to our inner lives, what our bodies' chemicals tell us about how we really feel and what we really need.

    Add : We are more active than in the past, thanks in part to this lovely Internet. We are sicker in ways partly due to the medications we are using to throw at problems instead of looking at their causes and taking account. Self medicating is becoming too accepted and claiming too many of us.

    Personally,if this happened to myself, and it has,the relationship would be altered, even temporarily ended in a way :

    I would continue to care for the person but not as a relationship because as careful and loving as I would try to be, I'd always be maintaining an objective distance in order to be able to support them. Relationships are equal, not about ONLY tending to some one, nothing else. Maybe if the person were able to mature out of their dangerous behavior we'd be able to realign on the same level as we started on as friends.

    I was falling in love with a guy who was honest from the onset of our relationship that he was seeing at least one other girl. He was also a user of many drugs. I had to distance myself and finally leave. I still miss him and worry.

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    • I realize that this may have been a one- time incident but I stil think it should be treated seriously and honestly.

      I myself would prepare for a break up but, that is 'me' and based on my experience.

      Even drunk, cheating indicates a little bit a break down, although not always in regards to the serious relationship/significant other. He may be struggling with something he's not revealing to you.

  • Drinking was his decision. No one forced alcohol down his throat. What he does while intoxicated is completely his fault and responsibility.

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  • i wouldn't be with them. being drunk is not an excuse

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