How long should I wait before initiating contact with my ex?

how long should I wait before initiating contact with my ex, I sent her the following message' Just to let you know, I got your message on facebook. just want to let you know I totally agree with everything you said, its the best thing for both of us. I'm sorry, but I can't talk to you anymore until I have moved on. look after yourself.'' now...how long should I wait to contact her, or should I wait for her to contact first? and what to say to her? ill select the best answer if someone can give me a walk through guide please. be greatly appreciated for your help

Updates:
any ideas what I can email her to, want her to kno I'm truly sorry, my head is cleared, and I admit I have been depressed, maybe thts why I took it out on her tht I had a bad day..shoudl I keep it simple lyk,miss u..or dya feel same way..or love u? help!
plz read my two messages regarding facebook, then wt shud I put, I wana kno if she changed her mind or feels lyk sh wants to move on stil..i want her back, shud I wait coulple more days? or am I losing time, I want to kno she wants me back, but be subtle
just posted a question on facebook, just randomly askin how to get rid of a badd hangover..lol. bear with me..and my ex's uncle replied..just wondering the whole no contact rule, does it include not talkin to any of her family, I'm mates with him tho
and is this a good idea to post '' I'm cool..who's next ;)

is this innocent enough, cos I know her uncle will prob tell her all these things I'm putting on. want her to think I'm moving on, maybe this will put fear of loss in her =S but I've stopped caring
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Addict I tried to send you a message but you didn't respond. I don't know if it I'd because you don't want to believe What I have to tell you, or you are too hurt and would rather just ignore the truth. I read your story... it sucks man... I'm sorry you too broke up, but in most normal relationships you only break up once. I am sure she thought long and hard about her decision. It seems you both have a lot to figure out about yourselves. But you are going through the three hardest stages of grief. Denial anger and bargaining. I'm sure it is coupled with depression, but I know all you can think about is how to get her back. I know from experience This feeling, I spent 3 years with my ex when we broke up. Its really hard man, but I'm going to be honest with you

    You have to stop contacting her. That includes contacting her to tell her your not going to contact her. She has mentally made up a decision, probably the wrong decision, but she isn't going to change her mind no matter how much you try and get her to.

    Here are steps to help you accept it is all over and to move on. Let me note that moving on doesn't necessarily mean you two will never get back together, but right This particular relationship is over.

    1 no contact and no given time frame. You need to cleanse yourself of this girl, that includes pictures, gifts, notes, messages, phone number, email, facebook- everything. You need to fall off the planet in her eyes, if you ever have a chance she needs to miss you, and you can't do That by talking to her everyday/week/month. There is no time frame sorry.

    2. Make a list of everything you want to accomplish in the next 3 years, that doesn't include the two of You. Keep this in your wallet and When You think of her, pull it out and think about how you are going to accomplish this.

    3. Hit the gym - you need to make yourself more attractive to women, and build your confidence. I'm sure that it is going through your head that you will never find another women again. Wrong, your blinded by love right now but this relationship has taught you what you want in a wife. The person you will spend your life withnl.

    4. Build a support group. Find friends and family that can support you when you need to cry, or share emotions. Don't bottle them up.and succumb to social norms. This will delay your healing process. Also, Talk to friends that have been in similiar situations. They can give valuable insight and tell you how to heal. Your not alone.

    5. Accept the pain, emotions and withdrawal and treat It like rehab. Love releases so much serotonin that you literally become addicted. You have to stop the cause (goes hand in hand with NC).

    6. Realize your not alone. I've been there man, it hurts... a lot. So ask for help, but you need the truth, the only people That helped me were the ones that were honest. I'm still going through mu breakup but I've gone a month with NC, and I've started to rebuild my life. Understand I'm here to help.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Honestly if she wants space, give it to her, you continuously persueing her is not sweet, it gets annoying, I know from past experience...she will contact you when she misses you, IF she decides she wants to get back with you, imo you should back off and every now and then, like week or two send ONE short but sweet message sying I miss******about you, or I still love you, or whatever but don't overdo it. Being too persistant will push her even farther away.

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  • I said the exact same thing to someone! XD I'm waiting till their b-day to say something, I wasn't originally going to talk to them but a guy listened to my story and said I should. =D Tell her when the time seems right! ^^

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  • If she is trying to get to be your "friend," she doesn't want to lose her security.. I tried to do this to my ex... it BLEW UP in my face. I broke up with him and tried to be "friends," a month later. We met up and then he said he wanted to be friends... which really is not what I wanted. Umm I suggest Give it at LEAST a month to let her think you are moving on. Its a powerful thing. I honestly would wait until she contacts you.. let her think.

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What Guys Said 2

  • dude, come off facebook! Stop creeping (I know you are!) and trying to interpret what she'll think about your posts. Fall off the face of the planet for at least 2 weeks (preferably a month)! Give her time to assess/digest what has happened. If she hasn't contacted you in this time, drop her a text asking how she is doing? Don't go crazy trying to analyse/learn how to get her back. Unfortunately all the tactics/tips in the world won't work if she really doesn't want to come back. But she needs some time to work out what she wants herself!

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  • need more info ie why did you break up? How long were you dating? Is their anybody else involved?

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    • dating from 23 jun 07 untill 13th of jan this year, I don't know if anyone else is involved, and I don't want to push her to find out. its over and I just have to start and accept that. :(

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