Why can't I let it go?

We broke up 3 months ago. She started dating someone within weeks of our split. He has known her a while and has always liked her. She swore it was platonic. We only dated for a couple of months (although have known each other for 2 years) so I don't know why I can't get past this. Do I have a right to be annoyed about this? I feel as if I am being immature but it bothers me. I don't know if her reason for breaking up with me was the real reason anymore. She said she was too busy etc yet was dating her 'platonic' friend a week later! All these doubts keep playing in my head and making me resent her. I know I need to let it go and want to but just don't know how? We have recently started talking again but neither of us have brought anything up yet. But if we are going to form any sort of friendship again I need to let go of this resentment. But I feel as if I will be the one to make all the sacrifices yet didn't do anything wrong!

As for him, I don't even know how I would deal with seeing him yet! We were even buddies for a while! Am I being irrational?

I feel as if I would be letting her off too easily by ignoring my feelings. Yet I miss her! Maybe it's just my pride and I'm trying to think about this whole situation objectively! Objective opinions please!


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What Girls Said 1

  • From my experience, (my ex started seeing my ex best friend a week after he decided to break up with me was friends with her 12 years and with the ex 8 years, they got engaged a month later).

    i suspect that something was going on between them but I am speaking from experience and the way things went on with me. I am no longer mates with my ex best friend as you can imagine but as I have a child with my ex unfortunately I have to see him. I would prfer not to ever see them both again but that is your choice if you can do that.

    • that's exactly what is playing on my mind! If this was the case I would have preffered if she had been honest from the start. But she hasn't and maybe it's my own paranoia but I just don't want to be taken for a fool. She called me after we split and said she was dating him, didn't know how she felt about him yet and things just happen! So you don't think I'm being irrational? And he wasn't my best friend fortunately! That must have sucked!

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    • ha I've considered doing the same! She has some pretty cute girlfriends from what I remember! So you think I should confront her about it all? I've haven't got any answers yet. She is the one contacting me so it's not as if I am harassing her! I just don't think their is any point in even attempting friendship if I don't trust her?

    • I would say no if she is with your friend now. but the choice does come down to you at the end of the day :)

What Guys Said 1

  • Look at the bright side to this. At the very least, she didn't date him behind your back correct? I realize this is a tough situation and believe me, I have been in your shoes before. Not exactly but, the same brand of shoes you could say. Now are you being irrational about this? No. Is it perfectly fine to feel angry over this? Yes.

    You gave a girl your commitment, you opened your heart to her and the moment she leaves you, she allows another guy to do the same so easily when her heart should of been kept "closed." As for the "too busy" reason you stated, that is obviously a lie. Well, sort of. She's definitely too busy for you. Fortunately, looking at the bright side again. You now have the free time to improve yourself, rather than committing that time into keeping a "relationship" going.

    I know the whole missing your ex ordeal very well, I have been through it just recently actually and it did take a lot from me to move on but I did so within 2 weeks. If you really desire to move on, you have two choices:

    1. Linger around and talk to her, hoping friendship will prevail over your feelings.

    2. Cut her off and improve yourself.

    Seeing her current boyfriend may spring up jealousy and anger but let's look on the bright side again. She's his problem now, not yours. If she does the same thing she did to you, it's his problem, not yours. You had your share, now it's his turn. Heck, just from that you two guys can become the best of friends.


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