My girlfriend is over the top paranoid about me leaving her?

I don't know how to explain it. I'm sure this is somewhat common. We've been together for a year and a half. When we started this relationship she was mildly accusing me of loving my ex's, and being with other women. I'm a flirt by nature. I don't realize I do it until someone tells me. I'm a car salesman, and I feel like this "flirting" is part of my charismatic personality that has brought me a lot of success in the business.

I don't know what to do. She's in college still, and I'm done school and in the working force. I'm 22, she's 20. We somewhat work opposite shifts. I work 10 hour days from 8am until 6pm. She starts classes at 930 and is finished around 1. Then works from 5pm until 930pm. She's convinced that while I'm at work, I'm trying to get other women. She's convinced that while she's at work instead of being in our apartment I'm out with other women.

I've cut off a lot of my social life because of her paranoia. I haven't spent much time with many of my male friends, and I haven't seen many female friends in almost a year now. I use to enjoy going to the bars with my friends before her, and that's died off.

I guess to end this long story... how do I get her to be normal with me? She's progressively gotten worse as time goes on. I love her very much and want to be patient with her, but I'm reaching my limit on how far she can push me and accuse me.


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  • The best thing I could tell you to do, is to sit down with her and tell her how much you really care about her, and how you'd never wish to hurt her by being with someone while you're with her.

    It's dangerous to cut off your entire social life for her, no matter how much you love her. You need to have a balance of friends as well as a love life. So I'd say to just talk to her.

    Hopefully she'll start to realize that she can trust you! :)

    • She doesn't really let conversations progress. What do you think? We start getting deeper into what she thinks and how she feels, then she decides she wants to go to bed and doesn't want to talk anymore. Then we have to start all over a couple days later when it comes up again. I've tried to push the discussion and it just turns into a fight, so now when she wants to stop I just drop it.

    • Hmmmm. I know someone who has a similar problem, and I tell him to do what's best for him. If you feel like it's truly worth all the trouble, then continue to try with her. Hopefully eventually she'll realize that she's being dumb. If you're losing your entire social life as well as your motivation to try... then stop trying. But honestly, It's up to you and whatever seems right in your mind. :)

  • that sounds a lot like me :x

    at first I can care less who he hangs out with..but once he said something wrong and the fact he never tells me anything makes me feel like he's hiding something from me

    i would see him looking through girls profile and find pictures of girls on his not one of them! he would compare which girl would be a better girlfriend with his friends... and the fact that I was pretty much the easy girlfriend of all! since most of them took a year of chasing, I only took a month! we been dating a yr

    its been getting better cause now he wants to do stuff with me, do what I want, and buy me gifts and offer to pay for things. all I wanted was his attention and he barely gave me any... that's all I wanted! if you gave your girlfriend enough attention and showed her you really care and you do listen then she wouldn't be that paranoid because she knows you love her already. you have to SHOW her not tell her. maybe do something you guys never done...that she likes? so its kinda a surprise and she's all :D I really think its cause you don't spend time with each other..even if you're busy

    • We do spend a lot of time together. We have mutual Sundays off of work that we make sure is our day. We go snowboarding, or do something of that nature. When were face to face she's great. She doesn't question anything. It's when she's away from me, for some reason her mind starts racing since she doesn't know what I'm doing.

      The worst thing that's happened lately is her paranoia with Facebook. She won't notice when I become friends with a male, but asks a dozen questions if there's a girl.

    • haha I do that too cause my boyfriend is somewhat a social climber..accepting people he don't know or added girls he JUST met. are you cute with her from time to time? like do you still send texts telling her you miss her or stuff like hey guess what? I'm thinking about you ha ha the childlish but cute stuff

      just find something to surprise her with man! face to face is great but she's obviously trying to suck it up and pretend its all okay...should find out what she's thinking even if it leads to a fight

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