My girlfriend cheated 3 years ago; if i still remember it now, is it time to end it?

Well I have pondered this question for a while now. But here is what happened and maybe you can send some advice my way:

My girlfriend and I have been going out practically all of college (almost 3.5 years now) and about 3 months into our relationship she started to hang out with this guy while we were on winter break. I knew it wasn't a good situation, and I ended up being correct.

She hadn't told me for 3 months and then finally she told me she had cheated. Not just a kiss or whatever, but she had sex with this other guy, who she had previously been in a semi-relationship previous to starting school. So I took a week or so, thought it about it, forgave her, and said that I would be able to forgive her, but that forgetting will take a little longer.

Now, that's not all unfortunately. She told me about a year later when I confronted her again (I could tell she hadn't told me everything and I didn't want to find out from other sources). So she admitted she had seen him a few times - went out on a couple "sort-of" dates (whatever that means) - and on top of that she had made a stop with me, AT HIS HOUSE on new years eve around the time of the event happening, to go inside, and give him a new years eve kiss. That last part probably actually hurt me the most, and is actually what I can't seem to get out of my head (though other images certainly used to pop in and out, I'm not as bothered any more). It just gets to me that we drove up, she said it was a friends house, I sat in the car for 10 minutes because it would be quick, and then she kissed him on new years eve. Right before her and I went out. OK I digress a bit away from the true story line.

So a year after the whole thing I finally got that true real story. That hurt a good deal but I said it was so far in the past that I just wanted to know the whole truth and she didn't have to worry about me forgiving her. So here we are, extremely happy and probably in the best period of our relationship yet (about the last 6 months or so), but the end of college is looming and I still remember this happening. I have never cheated on her, and I never will, though I do flirt with girls some times and she tries to jealousy-trip me on those situations.

So the question: What do I do? Standby and let the end of college help to sort things out? End it sooner than that and enjoy the 4 months I have left? Or confront her on me not being able to forget, and see where that leads? Thanks for any insight you all can give.

Well I appreciate the input, no matter how depressing. Does anyone have any counter/additional advice or is this it? (I feel as though I have come to the same conclusion as well)
debsman, I got you, very poignant. no I don't think I could go on and just forget about it. I'm more afraid of it coming up over and over again, and though I want could see having a long relationship with her, I wouldn't enjoy the continuous reminders.


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is gonna stay with you for as long as you two are together. She broke the trust you had in your relationship, and lied to you on that New Years Eve. You're never gonna forget it so end it.


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What Girls Said 1

  • you need to just end it. I mean come on she thinks she has a right to get jealous when you flirt, but she CHEATED you can do whatever the f*** you want now and she still is forever in the wrong. so its best you just leave her cuase she just ain't worth it. waste of you time


What Guys Said 1

  • The other avenue would be for you to completely forget what happened, stay with her, but never bring it up again. Think you can do that?


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