He said he needs time apart for a while, another break. Can anyone understand this?

On and off, unhealthy relationship. 2 years together, second not so great. Fighting, drama, insecurity. I was pushy. I would be mad over something and he would feel like I was denying the way he felt. Because I would often question that. The thing is deep down, I know he cares. Maybe it started off as seeing if I can trust him, I don't remember. It was unreasonable. The bad thing though is that he would want time away from me, so would give me breaks that we're uncalled for. Sometimes, he wouldn't inform me of his feelings, he would ignore me for whenever he felt like it. And he was mad and just couldn't be with me. Sometimes he said he saw he was hurting me, so that's why he did it, other times he said he felt like I deserved it. But, who knows, he says he doesn't mean things when he's mad sometimes. Oh yeah he broke up with me for 2 months, we tried getting back together and I reacted because he didn't call me after he left my house (when I didn't have the key to my house and it was cold outside). He had to leave to get his mom. I managed to get the spare key. Anyway, I knew I had no reason to react as I did. I accused him of not caring and blah blah. Too much expectation, not enough trust. It's hard to not be insecure and sometimes I just have these thoughts I can't let go of. I always regret them after and I'm sorry. This time I reacted normally the second after I realized what I was doing. Didn't stop him from wanting another break. No matter how many times I told him it was unfair. It wasn't fair for me to overreact, but I apologized right after, I acknowledged and myself was genuinely sorry for being like that. So, what the hell? We're fragile. We just have to be patient. And I say I hate the way I react and I want things to be different. So why is he being the same? Sometimes, I don't know why I put up with this. I want continuity, stability. He seems to have feelings for me. So, what's the harm in trying instead of running away? We're both hurt, but we're in it together, so we can be good together if we just try. I am so done with this bullsh*t. I know being with him doesn't have to be like this. So why can't we try? What's it going to take? I know this sounds completely negative. But being with him, I feel happier (I am happy on my own, I'm not some hopeless, desperate person), I can be myself and like who I am, he makes me laugh, smile, and feel special. It's been a while things have been like that though and it's just really sad. I don't even know how he is now. He said he needs time apart for a while, another break. He's asked to be friends, when he knows that can't happen, like he seems to be repeating his breaking-up phase(when I knew he still cared for me and was being so unfair). We were supposed to hang out today, he said it. So, I told him we're trying, stability, you going on your word, so come see me. Even though, it's "his break", I want him to know I don't tolerate that. Chances are he won't come see me, will go against his

word and be unfair until he's ready. I don't know what to do. I said I didn't tolerate breaks or saying things you don't mean, so come here or we're done because I am done with the bullsh*t. Chances are he won't see that I'm done with him and who knows.


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What Guys Said 1

  • sounds like he wants you to break up...buying time with another break, assuming that something didn't come up after the first and before the second break, that is

    • He's told me that too. If he wants me to break up, then he wants it to end, so why couldn't he end it? Why would he want me to? What do you mean by something coming up during the breaks? I'm just so fed up. Sorry for the complicatideness. Thanks a lot for your answer. :)

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