Can’t get over a guy I was seeing. However stopped talking for 3 years and he contacted me, during that time I was over him?

Help. I have known a guy for about 8 years. I met him at worked.. we liked each other and hooked up. He said he was confused so needed time to
think. I was quite upset about it as you can imagine. I left the work and a few months later he contacted me but I told him to leave me alone. Four years later I contacted him, we started a relationship and I was moving too quickly and he wasn’t happy about that. I got angry and said some nasty things. A few days later I realised I made a mistake and said sorry for the nasty things I said but he didn’t want to talk to me. So I moved on met a guy who I have been with for almost 2 years. A few months ago the guy who I had these ups and downs with contacted me but from a fake Facebook profile as a friend told him I had a boyfriend. So he told me to contact him at work (he blocked me number so obviously forgot my number and was worried my Boyfriend may get upset, hence contact on fake profile) I told him I was busy and had a boyfriend.
The strange thing is, I haven’t been thinking of him for the past 3 years. (Not thAt happy with my boyfriend btw) and now I can’t stop thinking of him. What do I do? I hate that I haven’t been thinking about him and then he contacts me and I can’t get him out of my head) I liked him a lot when we were together and I was happy.
Im worried if I contact him and break up with my Boyfriend and it doesn’t work out, i’ll Just be heartbroken again.

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103
  • You are setting yourself up for problems every which way you go. Your current situation won't work because you don't even like the boyfriend apparently, the new situation won't work because you've tried it before. And if you don't do both you will be lonely. Sounds like lonely is your best option, at least that might end eventually with something new and better.

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  • Break up with your boyfriend for starters. No sense in dragging that out. Avoid this other off and on relationship. Those relationships tend to remain eternally off and on and have a way of ruining other relationships. Walk away from both... forever.

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    • 6d

      This... it’s a weird pull they have on one another. The pull isn’t the kind with an actual BOND though🤔
      Dump both and start fresh elsewhere. Or make peace with the shakiness with this “relationship”

    • 6d

      I was thinking the same at first, too. However, once that "lovin' feeling" begins to wane, even with effort it seldom returns. If live could be forced the divorce rate would likely be significantly lower.

      Us humans are fickle creatures.

  • I feel you! I feel in love with a guy back in 2014/2015 we stopped talking until Oct 2017 and we finally came out to each other that we liked each other *i forgot all about him* until I seen him & we only broke up on Father’s Day 2018

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  • You guys split twice because he either didn’t want a relationship or you were going to fast. You aren’t being rational. Go unfriend him block the phone number and let it be.

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  • Stop hanging in to your current boyfriend just because you’re lonely. You’d be doing both your current boyfriend and you a dis-service especially if you’re not even that into him

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  • It would best to cut all ties with him, so you can prevent yourself from getting hurt again. You'll stop thinking about him again, if you stop all contact again..

    If you're happy in your current relationship, don't let a guy from your past destroy what you have now. If you're not happy in your current relationship, it would be best to end it, because it isn't fair for the guy you're with now. Think about him, not your ex boyfriend.

    You obviously hadn't really moved on from your ex. And your current relationship mustn't be right for you, because if it was right for you, and you had moved on, an ex wouldn't still have such a hold over you after all this time

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  • Maybe ask yourself why you keep getting feelings for that guy. It could be the challenge or maybe the safety of someone else limiting your guys relationship to something that’s insignificant? I don't know but I would probably try it again if it’s on your mind so much. I’m weak like that tho, and have a hard time staying with someone if they’re bugging me. I vote for the more exciting route. You can always probably go back to the boyfriend you have now, later, if you don’t ruin things in his head by telling him you’re breaking up with him for someone else. Then either way you’d have a better idea of how much he really means to you. Absence makes the heart grow stronger I’ve heard.

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  • Do you really still like this guy? Do you think you guys have a chance if you get back together again?

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    • 6d

      Yes. When we stopped talking i still liked him. There could be a chance because I have learnt to not be too full on and take things slow.

    • 6d

      Break up with your boyfriend and give him a chance.

  • If you are not happy with your boyfriend why waste your time and his time. I don't think you should go back to this guy or even talk to him, it's all sounds like a toxic relationship and he is the type of guy who will never commit. You sound like you want commitment and a serious relationship that guy wouldn't give you that. He runs away every time things get serious. I think it's better you move on for good and cut every hope you have with him, all the happiness are just in your head its not real

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  • A reletionship that have complications gets attached to our hearts the moment you are in and out the time you hold tie to it. You shouldn't have resume the relationship after four years. If you keep on moving in circles you will not only confuse your heart but you will cause yourself more pain so is better to let it all go. You are denying someone a better relationship by draging him in your confusion. Everyone deserve better just the way ur ex is busy stealing your time and joy you are stealing your current boyfriends time and joy

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  • You need to figure out if he is worth it? On and off relationships never work at the end!

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  • Find a good therapist

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  • TLDR kid

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