Do you listen to people "how to move on /let go" advices?

people (especially the ones who've never experienced the pain of separation) think "letting go" is a piece of cake. I think even if your ex was a narcissist, it takes years to heal and forget about him. Move on advises are available in endless forms. What's your response when you get one? Do you get mad at them? Or calmly agree w them?

people around me trash talk all the damn time "how stupid it is to be hung up on somebody who's not yours" do you feel the same?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • someone who's been through something like your situation can best relate.
    some people are flippant and don't get it.
    I can relate to the narcissistic/bpd as I experienced that. Those people intentionally "tag" and "bag" you with pain to control you. healing from that is possible within a few months as long as you get perspective on it.

    if a person finds themselves stuck, then more help is needed. No way around it... those situations are traumatic to our minds and our bodies. It is one big system that works together and holds onto emotion until those emotions are processed, put in place, released.

    you may benefit from hypnosis or other techniques. there are videos on that which demonstrate it.

    Add to this... if you were slammed by a narc, or type of personality, then there was stuff wounded inside of you before that which also needs work. thus why you are tied up in emotional knots and not wanting to get free. that's how human works unfortunately. emotonal zombies we ALL are until set free!

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    • by free I mean, emotionally. I'm not talking suicide or death in case anyone reads that. you can be free of this and live fully again to your full potential that you probably don't recognize yet.

  • It is the right advice, but there's a way to deliver it. If someone just says 'move on', yeah duh thanks, we get that...

    I usually try to sympathize with people going through pain because I have been there and I usually try to tell them ways of trying to take their mind off it, but I always acknowledge that it's not easy.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, because I don’t hold onto things or emotions that don’t benefit me. I’ve experienced the “pain of separation”, I let my father go, friends when we outgrew or hurt each other and situations that were no longer good for me. I’m well aware it’s hard, but it’s a choice to invest energy and emotion into things that are bad for us instead of redirecting it into more positive and worthwhile avenues. That advice may be dumbly simplified in the extreme to “get over it” but it’s not necessarily incorrect

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What Girls & Guys Said

310
  • Eh, I take it lightly. Most of them mean well, but even when I tell people to let it go or move on, I know that's easier says than done!

    Hell it took me almost a year to get over my ex. And guys that rejected me or friendzoned me? I do move on, but it sure as hell isn't easy!

    I mean I appreciate their sentiment I guess, but I just agree with them. Lashing out at them doesn't do much, and I need someone to vent to, lol

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  • The thing is it's different for everyone. So what works for some, may not for others. But I'm always interested to hear how others deal with it. Depends on the relationship also.

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  • Nah.. every person has a different post breakup routine - mine is waiting for all the 5 stages of grief to end while I eat like a pig and cry like a widow who just realized her inheritance is bankruptcy.

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  • No definitely not. The feeling that you’re going through only you can understand it not other people. The advices they give is according to their perspective and it can help a little but in the end you’re on your own.

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  • I want to listen to them, but their opinions don't work too.

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  • For once, yeah but as soon as they cling on me telling me what to do, I ignore them openly telling them to shut up if they continue doing so. Like they know what is going through my mind and what best suits me to divert my mind.
    I never really had to get over an ex but there was a girl I was bothered about whom I didn't like back then but she seemingly did. I was too late when I started liking her a bit but she was a pass out from my HS by then. Still, it didn't take me more than 2 weeks maybe to move on 😄.

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  • You can't listen to anybody that has never been in your stuff , you can only accept there advice on how you asked for them to listen.

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  • Everyone's different and so is their understanding of pain. We must first understand each other before we listen to one another...

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  • To effectively deal with a broken relationship you would be wisest to:
    1. Allow yourself personal time and space to grieve. Anger may be a part of this grief, but should not be used for vindictive or destructive actions.
    2. Talk to trusted friends and family about it.
    3. After you are convinced that you have done all of the above, pick up the pieces of you that were damaged by the relationship and/or the break-up, put that part of your life behind you as best you can, and continue to enjoy living and loving.
    Does any of this sound new or familiar?

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  • It never helps anyway only way to truly move on is time but friends def help because they make you laugh

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  • I take their advice with a grain of salt but I end up figuring it out eventually. From what I've seen when you're hearing about the senario from the outside looking in, it's easier to see where things went wrong as opposed to being in the situation yourself. People move on and cope with it in different ways so hearing advice from someone else may not work. Also the friend you tell may never understand your emotional investment you had in the relationship and that's often the biggest misunderstood part

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  • I don't trust nor take seriously most of people's advice regardless of their intentions.

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  • Nope

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