Does a cheater still deserve to visit his child?

Ok so my friend has been cheated on in the relationship and they're not getting back. However, they have a 2 year-old daughter.

She wants him to leave (has thrown him out a couple times) already but he keeps coming back to see his daughter. He's not fighting to be forgiven for the cheating though. He only comes for the child.
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

1|1
2328

Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't stop my ex. And he really hurt me; Not cheated, but he hurt me and I have a lot of emotional problems from it. ( I say that as long as he hasn't hurt our son that he can, I don't say anything negative or say what's happened to/around our son about him either). But I will say this, it's hard on so many levels. But I don't do it for him, I do it for our son, (He doesn't have him alone though, he has him at his parents). My question is why shouldn't she for this? It's not about what he did in the relationship, it's about a childs well-being/needs, a childs well-being/needs should always come first, that's part of being a parent.

    2|1
    0|0
    • 7d

      unfortunatly, things like this always involve the child. my problem is that he didn't consider the risk of losing his child due to his own actions.

    • Show All
    • 7d

      he nearly killed you

  • The children should never suffer because of their parents relationship. but unfortunately it happens a lot, they use the child as a bargaining chip or to blackmail a parent. he perhaps does not deserve to get back together with the mother, but he definitely not only deserves but has every right to see his daughter. the daughter needs both parents not just one. he cheated on the mother not the daughter.

    4|2
    0|0
    • Totally agree

    • From the looks of it (the relationship), nope he doesn't want to get back with her and doesn't seem sorry about the cheating. The relationship was going downhill before the cheating and they would argue a lot.
      One time, I actually saw how happy the little girl was upon seeing her father. She said daddy and ran to him so fast.

    • the little girl should not suffer just because the mom no longer likes the dad. I understand she may want to do this because she is hurt and angry, but she should not take it out on the daughter.

Most Helpful Guys

  • What sort of sick wierdo are you?

    Why should the child be prevented from having a relationship with its father?

    To be clear, this is about the child growing up with the support of its parents.

    If you want to punish the man, don't do it in a way that hurts the child.

    Why does this even need pointing out? m not sure your friend has the right moral judgement to be a parent (speaking as a parent myself)

    3|1
    0|0
    • Latest update from last night my friend said was that if she keeps it up, he's going to take legal actions against her and made it clear that he's never going to leave his daughter.

  • Yes he does because cheating on you ain't related to his daughter, also it's his daughter and he have the right to see her.

    Also he should of been making an effort to change and be sorry because if he truly loves his daughter he wouldn't have cheated.

    3|1
    0|0
    • exactly the point i was trying to make.

    • Show All
    • 7d

      That's all he should come for. Your friend is an adult, she will get over it, that kid will never get over being abandoned if the Dad is pushed out.

    • 2d

      Why should he be sorry for cheating? You don't necessarily know if she cheated on him, neglected him, humiliated him in the bedroom, had poor hygiene, carried disease, had low libido and refused to seek help, anything. Nobody EVER knows the whole story of what happens in somebody else's bedroom, and I'll add that it's not in any man's interest to tell others that his woman cheated on him. This makes potential future partners see him as weak and low-value.

      Never mind that, though. No woman who would consider removing a safe child from a loving parent deserves to be treated with any humanity whatsoever. The notion that such a person can be wronged is absurd.

      He also doesn't have to love his daughter, or meet this or any woman's standards for what his emotions should be. It is his treatment of the daughter that matters, because it is her we are concerned about. The daughter loves her father and the mother is trying to make this little girl lose a parent. There is no wrongdoing against such a person.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

2126
  • The act of cheating was harmful to their spouse, but not necessarily to their child. Unless they’ve exhibited other behavior that could harm the child then they have every right to see them. Having both parents is very important for proper childhood development, and should only not be the case when it endangers the child. Trust me I know from experience.

    4|1
    0|0
  • What a monstrous thing to ask. If anything the daughter should be taken from the mother, who has set out to wreck not only her family but also what remains for the daughter after the family has ended.

    You could argue that the father's harm to the family arrangement puts him at fault and means he could cause drama in the future, but as least that harm was accidental (assuming he tried to keep it secret); whereas the mother took the deliberate and likely premature, unnecessary step of suddenly splitting up the household. This is something an estranged couple should manage with grace and caution so they can get on with their lives while minimizing disruption to the lives of their children, NOT out of nowhere because they are angry and have their feelings hurt.

    The only time it is justifiable to kick a parent out of his child's house for infidelity is when his behavior has put the child at risk, either by exposing her to strangers (cheating in the home while she is there, for example) or other endangerment or neglect (leaving the child alone). If I tell my wife I'm going out to meet friends while she stays home with my child, and instead I go off and bone my friends with benefits who's in town for the weekend, that has nothing to do with the child, and it's the person who thinks otherwise who needs to be kept away from children.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yes , just cause the relationship didn't work out it's not the childs fault , you can't use a child as a weapon if he still wants to be in his childs life then there should be no issue , a kid is going to love their parent no matter what

    3|2
    0|0
    • Ok true. I actually saw once how the little girl was happy when her father come. She ran to him so fast, saying daddy, daddy.

    • 6d

      Kids are the best love we as people can ever have and kids will love their parents no matter what , kids can be mad at their parents and be pissed off at them and hate them but a child will still love their parent deep down inside , a kid can have a parent that was a mass murderer but they will still love their parent. Just the way life is , My Dad was an abusive drunk to my Brothers and I and even though i am angry at him and mad i still love my Dad. It usually hits people the most after a parent passes away , So the fact that he wants to be in his childs life should be no issue

  • I look at it the other way round: Does the daughter have the right to see her father?

    So many parents do what they want, without bothering to consider the needs of the child!

    3|1
    1|0
    • The little girl looks happy whenever her father comes. According to my friend, she does ask for daddy.

    • That guy may be a cheater, but he will always be the child's daddy. She will always be his daughter!

  • He has legal parental responsibility. The most important right here is that of the child. She has a right to have full and open access to both parents, and nobody has a right to take that away from the child.

    Children are not possessions to be withdrawn from a parent as punishment.

    3|1
    0|0
  • Cheating makes him a bad partner for her, not a bad father for the little girl. I understand the mother must be hurt but she shouldn't be selfish and be a good mother, and a good mother should know that what the kid usually needs and wants is to keep in touch with both parents despite divorce.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Obviously, it’s his kid. Even though the relationship failed it doesn’t give her a right to prohibit him from seeing his daughter..

    6|2
    0|0
  • The fact that he cheated has nothing to do with the kid. It's a problem between you two. It doesn't mean he loves his child less. so he should see yes. I wouldn't let him see only if he treated the kid in a bad way but our relationship has nothing to do with the kid

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yes they do. Being a cheater doesn't make them a bad parent. Just an awful disloyal partner. A person has no right to stop their partner from seeing their child just because they were cheated on. They need to put their child first , and get past the hurt of the betrayal for the sake of the child. That doesn't mean they should get back together, they just need to be amicable for the child's well-being

    1|0
    0|0
  • This is completely irrelevant to being a parent. I I hope they have enough maturity and respect for their child to carry on as normal in their company. To disrespect your ex or talk I'll of them I front of their child will do damage to the child. This is a human a vulnerable child who needs both parents

    1|0
    0|0
  • he's a shit partner and deserves nothing from the woman, But its still his child, He still shoul dbe able to see her, And her daughter should still be able to see her father.

    4|1
    0|0
  • That is his child. So unless he is a danger to the child, YES, he does deserve. Who is anybody to judge if he should or shouldn't? He IS the father. She has no legal rights to keep him from her unless court ordered.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Cheating? Actually I’m not siding anyone but what is it anyone is cheating the other of?
    Importance, attention and priority?

    We aren’t dogs as humans in general to be loyal. Even dogs don’t need to be loyal. We just expect them not to bite us literally.

    Emotionally that is infidelity as a bite in the Back of low
    Priority and their lack of empathy.

    Not like its battery or life threatening abuse. That is the primary reason for restraining order.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Is he a murderer or a molester or a danger? If not and the child is his, then of course he deserves visitation. How is this even a question? His failed relationship with your friend does not negate his rights and responsibilities as a parent.

    4|1
    0|0
  • Depends if he is a jerk to the child or he beats his ex. I would say no.
    But if he still wants to be a Father then allow him in the childs life.

    1|1
    1|0
    • Nope, he never beat his ex. My friend thinks that since he cheated, he has no rights to see their daughter.
      He doesn't want to get back with her either but wants to be part of his daughter's life. Last time she threw him out, he got upset and claimed he would not stop coming and that the cheating has nothing to do with his rights to be a father.

    • he knew what he was risking.

  • He legally has the right to visit his child unless he's been done for child neglect.

    3|1
    0|0
  • Of course! He cheated on the mother which is horrible but shouldn't affect his relationship with his daughter. Why would anyone be so selfish to deny their child a father because he cheated, some people really are pathetic.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Biologically yes. But the exchange of custody should be brief. Picks the kid up without saying a word to you. I am not in your position. But that’s how I’d play the situation if I was dealing with something like this

    1|0
    0|0
  • Is he still legally her father? is he still financially responsible for her?

    4|1
    0|0
  • Yes, he is still her parent and it's worse for the daughter if her father has no role in her life unless he is violent or a substance abuser.

    4|1
    0|0
  • Yeah, he's a piece of shit for cheating but unless he's abusive he should still be able to see his kid.

    3|1
    0|1
  • The other question is, does the little girl deserve to grow up being kept away from her dad?

    5|1
    0|0
  • actions have consequences. he willingly threw his relationship away. he's made no effort make make no effort to make aminds... and he should still get his way?

    1|0
    5|1
    • yeah he's not fighting to get taken back and according to my friend doesn't care about not being forgiven... all he cares is about seeing his child.

    • Show All
    • They're not married. They were just living together before.

    • @taleswapper i'll take that as a complement. watch the video and she how it can affect the child, too.

  • Any parent deserve to see their children, it's fucked up to prevent them to do so. Just leave your children out of your childish drama and let them see their parents.

    3|1
    0|0
  • Of course he has every right. A child is not a weapon to be used for revenge.

    3|2
    0|0
  • Of course. The parent who cheated is still a parent. The cheating is between parents, not between the child and a parent.

    3|1
    0|0
    • i know this for a fact-the child is alway suffers the most when the individual who suffers when a parent does something like this because that's all they can do.

  • Always! A mom or dad is a mom or dad no matter what they did. The child doesn’t care if they cheated and the child shouldn’t be punished

    2|0
    0|0
  • Yes he is her father anyway and she cannot stop him from visiting her. H might hate the ex wife but still love his daughter

    2|1
    0|0
  • Honestly, yeah I think he should still get to see his daughter. Shitty of him for cheating on her, but as long as he's not violent or anything I think he should be allowed to see her.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don’t think so. He made the choice to damage their relationship and didn’t even think twice about what effect it could have on his children.

    0|1
    3|2
    • exactly. it sucks... but let's be real-what did he expect? you want ''unfair''? here, how's this? i'm in pain everyday due to lies. hell, that's just the worst of it.

    • Show All
    • 7d

      @Giggletr0n cept you really don't know.

    • 7d

      I’m 16 so obviously I don’t lol, but if one partner is gonna cheat then they didn’t care about the kid enough to not fuck up the environment of its upbringing

  • Yes, he does. Sex and your child has nothing to do with you unless he's a pedo.

    1|0
    0|0
  • If it was your friend who had cheated and not her husband, and he had kicked her out and kept the kid, would you even have asked this question? Or would you have just gone ape sh*t at him for separating a parent and their child?
    A father has JUST AS MUCH a right to see his child as the mother should a relationship break down.
    The only time my opinion on this would change is if this person being refused access has done something that may justify the proposal the child was at risk eg. This parent has assaulted someone without any justification while in the presence of children, or has in some way put the child's life at risk or let them come to risk through inaction

    2|1
    0|0
  • I think it's right ti see his child sure he cheated but it doesn't mean he doesn't care about the child, when the mother and him made when they were in love once upon time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Cheating doesn't get rid of parental rights

    6|3
    0|0
  • Yes. Mixing couple issues with kids is just as wrong.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Ok so he is a bad partner, doesn't mean he's a bad father.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Does the child deserve to see their loving parent?

    2|0
    0|0
  • Cheating doesn't determine parenting style.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's his kid. Stop smoking crack.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes. He should be able to see his daughter

    0|0
    0|0
  • His relationship with his kid has nothing to do with the mother. Stop using kids as bargaining chips. They're human beings.

    1|0
    0|0
  • There’s a difference between being a good husband and a good father. His child is a part of his, so he can love her sincerely, and have a bound with her. women cheat too but that doesn’t stop them to love their children and having a maternal instinct toward them. I’d say that it would be sad for the daughter to be deprived from her father’s love.

    2|0
    0|0
  • He cheated, he didn't abandon the kid. He should come to see his kid

    1|2
    0|0
  • Because it is his child so what if he cheated?

    2|1
    0|0
  • The judge will decide that. Bible Belt judges might have different opinions than NYC judges.

    0|0
    2|1
  • Of course he does. He's a child's father and he has parental rights and the child deserves a father.

    3|1
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...