Boyfriend lied and I don’t know what to do?

My boyfriend of two years and I have a pretty loosely defined open relationship. He’s has some medical issues in the past that are of no fault of his own that has led to some impulse control issues, which (or so I thought) were well managed.

I recently came to my hometown for the Easter and uni break. Before I left, we had a conversation about how he would be without me. He mentioned he thought he might struggle, I assured him a number of times if he needed to, he could find sexual relations elsewhere. Whenever I said this, he would say that he did not want to hurt me, m, so he wouldn’t do that. To clarify, I am emotionally mono, and he identifies as poly, but has always done mono. We have swung together but never separately.

I’ve been away from my boyfriend now for two weeks, m. Through piecing together of things, I worked out that he has been talking to other girls. After I confronted him, he admitted he had downloaded tinder, and talked to girls, but not met any.

This feels like absolute betrayal. I don’t understand why he would lie and say he wouldn’t do this to prevent hurting me, and then doing it and trying to hide it. Like it hurts 1000x more than if he just admitted he was struggling and I would’ve given the okay.

What makes it so much worse was about six months ago I found out that he had been lying to me for the first six months of our relationship and that he had still been seeing his ex (non sexually - she was kinda toxic and needed “saving” a lot). So to have come through that, reaffirmed the need for absolute honesty, and to have this happen feels like a huge punch in my gut.

I still love him so much. I’m unsure what to do. I want to give him another chance, but it feels like fool me twice shame on me, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to trust him again.

Tl;dr My boyfriend lied to me about installing tinder and talking to girls on it. Not the first time he’s lied, and our trust has been shattered. I still love him but I’m unsure what to do.
Boyfriend lied and I don’t know what to do?
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