Working with an ex?

I started dating a coworker of my about a year and a half ago, we dated for six months before she dumped. To sum up why, basically I broke her trust because of an old app on my phone that had some pics of my ex. I forgot all about it but she still felt I broke her trust and didn't want to continue our relationship. I accepted her wanting to end things and found it hard/pointless to even attempt to win her back because without trust we can't date.

After the breakup we still worked together and the first three months I was devestated, cried everyday, multiple times a day, I was a mess. I finally tried to repress my feelings towards her and things got easier for a while but I never felt I could really move on. Mainly because we still work together.

Its closing in on a year since she dumped me and she's still kind and caring towards me for the most part and asks me frequently if im fine. I can only interpret her actions as taking pity on me. Mainly for the fact that my mother is our boss, so why be nothing but nice to your ex if your job is on the line? Now my mom/boss would never fire her because of our relationship, my ex is a hard worker and excellent at her job. But because of this particular circumstance it makes it hard for me to differentiate if she's being genuine or taking pity on me or is fearful for her job security. Also I would never, nor did i ever plan to get her fired, i messed up and lost her, that doesn't mean she needs to suffer.

So to bring this story to a close, I've been nothing but cold and quiet towards her and I think she's finally starting to grow tired of trying to be nice to me but I can only be the way i am otherwise I start getting too close to her and Ill just wind up hurting my own feelings when I remember she doesn't want anything more than a friendship or less.

I dont really have a question to ask here, I know she doesn't want to get back together but just wanted to vent/get some other opinions on all of this.
Working with an ex?
Add Opinion