I feel like breaking up with my boyfriend. Help please?

I love him. I really do. He was cheating on me (messaging a bunch of girls and sending pics. But never slept with anyone). When i first saw the messages i felt my heart literally break. I almost threw up. It turns out he was messaging girls since we were talking i found out in January and we were together about 1.5yrs at that point.

If im honest my love for him changed. It's not as intense as it used to be. I try to move past it but im so insecure and jealous now. I got mad at him for playing video games with his friend's wife. I don't trust him talking to any girl. When ever there is a girl around I always keep thinking 'does he find her more attractive than me?' 'Is he checking her out?' I feel so dumb and stupid for feeling like this.

Im tired of feeling Like this. But I don't know how to end things. Or if that is really what i want. I don't know what i want. But its hard for me to just end things. We live together. If we break up im stuck with rent that I don't know if i can afford and i dont have anywhere else to go. I enjoy our time together. I can't imagine losing him for good. I always thought he was the one.

I don't know I'm so annoying and stupid. I can't handle stuff like this. Which is why i don't ever date or get serious with people. I rather just disappear then deal with this stuff. Im not even sure if any of this makes sense. I just feel like im going crazy.
I feel like breaking up with my boyfriend. Help please?
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