Having a mental breakdown over my ex?

I’m usually really good about no contact but today I just went into a very dark place mentally. I ended up breaking no contact & texted him several mean texts. After every text I would block his number for a bit so that I don’t have to see his response. I’ve been having a really hard time getting a good job & I guess I used that as an excuse to pull the crazy card. I also did it so that hopefully he stops breadcrumbing me every few months & just straight up block my number. I feel like if he fully shuts the door on me, over time I WILL get over him & even forget about him.
Having a mental breakdown over my ex?
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