Can’t let go of my relationship?

I’m struggling so much. I have days we’re I do better but I can’t seem to move on from my past relationship. I feel like I got played so bad. Basically, I tried to break things off back in the summer with this guy he went on a date behind my back and paid live webcam models while trying to earn my trust. He also never spent time with me and it was long distance. I was devastated and so hurt so I tried to break it off. I tried dating a new guy but he blew me up saying I was the love of his life he’d never leave and we will get through anything. It was sooo hard to take him back after the webcam thing and date I was mad so I sexted me exes in spite of that. I took him back in December. We dated until April everything was great but he kept accusing me of cheating. Then one day a guy texted me saying hope I had a great time but I had bumped into at my birthday with friends he saw that and he thought I cheated. He said he’d never talk to me again if he thought that so I assumed he was done, I was feeling hopeless I was sick of begging him to stay so i went out on a date. It was awful I fell asleep asked to leave early and thought of my ex I had tears in my eyes. He then texted me that week going back& forth I ended up in the er because I couldn’t take the back& forth. Then he saw I went on the date and has left me. He texted me out of the blue with the I miss you text. It sounded like he might want to try to work things out& asked if we could hang as friends. So then I text him on wensday and Thursday and he ignores me again. Clearly he’s just using me as an option to go back to right? He then said I could visit him then changed his mind as I was gong to I feel like I’m dying inside. How does he move on so fast but gets mad at me for making one mistake? But then he’s doing the same thing I don’t think he loved me if he moves on this fast. Unless he’s trying to block it out. Pleaseee read the update there’s more to the story!
Updates:
5 mo
He thinks I’m a cheater but the funny part is I can’t even get myself to talk to guys right now. I’m pretty hot and legit have guys all over me, but I’ve turned everyone down it’s so painful I just think about us. I get he’s mad but like what about all the stuff he said about being soulmates? He can do wrong, but I can’t make mistakes. I legit left a male model that lived on a beach for him I took him back I barely dated the male model cause I was so focused on my ex nick.
5 mo
I show any interest he ignores me or acts like he’s ok as soon as I start to try to move on he goes I miss u. It’s hard cause I know he’s using me as a clutch maybe trying to get revenge but I still love him so much. It hurts. So fucking bad. I have hot guys asking me out models, successful kind guys, I can’t seem to let this go he thinks I’m materialistic but why would I date Him if I have all these other guys? He doesn’t get how I feelplease help I dont know what to do to fully move on?😩
Can’t let go of my relationship?
5
1
Add Opinion