What is this supposed to mean?

I've had a really hard time with my break up, and it's been really mentally draining.
I am not a big religious person, but I asked for the pain to go away and to know it's over and to forget about her.
Then I'll start running into her, seeing her pop up on my social media, and have dreams about her.
So I get confused, and I ask for understanding and if we are going to get back together and maybe it's just a growing period.
Then she completely disappears. I won't run into her or see her on my social media.
It's driving me nuts.
What is this supposed to mean?
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