What are you doing now?
I am in a relationship that's been going on for a few years. This one started less than a year after my (pretty long) marriage ended. The case where I was single a year later and the case where I was casually dating a year later were back when I was in my early 20s.What about you? I'm guessing that you are asking because it's been about a year since you broke up with someone and you're curious where other people were relationship-wise at that point. Is that right?
No bc my friend who was attracted to me has been out of a relationship for a little less than a year. He’s 29. Do you think it’s too soon?
I think that depends. What really matters is not how long it's been, but whether he is really over the prior relationship and attracted to you for the right reasons.I tend to be able to put past relationships behind me more quickly than a lot of people. And in the case of my marriage, that really was over in terms of emotional connection for a while before we got divorced so it wasn't hard for me to move on from that. If he's like me with being able to move on fairly quickly, then he could be ready.I think the main thing you want to avoid is getting into a relationship if he's still thinking about his ex and is mostly wanting a new relationship to distract him from that or so he can have a regular sex partner. If he wants to be with you because he finds you appealing and thinks you're a good match for a serious relationship, then I think that's probably fine.When my girlfriend and I got together, many people thought it was a rebound relationship that wouldn't last because we were both just coming out of bad marriages. But we got together not because we were desperate for someone to be with but because we saw many traits in each other that we really liked and so even though it was pretty quick it was a real serious relationship as shown by the fact that we're still together a few years later.How long was he with her? And how much do you hear him talk about her? I would look for clues that he's really over her before starting anything. That doesn't mean that he can't ever talk about her, but I think when he does talk about her it needs to be in a way that's detached and not emotional.
He was with her since 2016
2 years. I saw him on bumble shortly after the break up but he was barely on. That tells me he’s not looking for a serious relationship and I should focus on me
I have a licensing exam to pass too. I think I should focus on that tbh
Maybe. He might be on some other dating site more. Or he might not be actively seeking a relationship but would be open to one if the right person came along.Are you saying he was attracted to you in the past, like before that other relationship, or that you have signs that he is now? Have you had any recent contact with him?
OK, if you think you're not really ready for a relationship at this point then you probably should wait.
Yes! I think he’s busy with his job too. He’s a cop and works alternating days, weekends, and nights.
He gets in these busy spells where he disappears for weeks. I don’t think a relationship is his main priority but rather his job is based on the nature of it.
Maybe you could have some contact with him but not get too serious until you're both ready?
I’m honestly not ready and don’t want to start something bc I’ll get distracted from passing my exam so I think I’m going to leave it alone bc if I don’t pass my test it’s going to be bad 👍🏻
OK. Good luck with the licensing exam!
You think I should worry about it after that?
If you're interested in him, then I think it's worth trying. My personal feeling is that if there's someone you think you want to be with, it's better to try and fail than to not try at all and never know if it would have worked.
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The reason why I ask was this guy told me he wasn’t going to answer my texts anymore but he was with someone and into me. They broke up. You think I have a better shot now?
I’ll pm you